Breaking up... help please.

So I had been with this guy for 3 years... after a year I found out he was talking to other girls, sending pics, looking girls up online (not in the p*rn sense, I'm fine with that). He did stuff like that before me, which is fine, but the fact that he did it after we said we were committed made it painful for me. I confronted him, and he turned the situation around to me going through his phone and it being a privacy issue (something I don't do, he just kept talking to "coworkers" or "customers" and having a cute smile on his face). Anyways, he continued this behavior even after we talked about it. Sometimes there would be a month or two in-between, but it would always happen again. I lived with him and he started joining dating sites at work and browsing and messaging at work, and when I found any of these things he would lie to my face about them and make me just miserable, he said I was always accusing (when I had proof of what he did) and playing the victim acting like I was the bad one for always bringing stuff up and being hurt, but it happened constantly... and it happened for one more time.. he says she's just a friend, but he hid her from me and had an app that would hide her text messages. He is a compulsive liar, and I have nightmares a few times a week about him telling me I'm not good enough and doing things like this, and I wake up heartbroken all over again... I just want to get over him.. We haven't cut off communication yet, but I know that's something I need to do.. Please someone help me get rid of this mood. He's won enough of the wars and is doing fine.. I don't want to be the only one miserable anymore..

Can anyone give me any advice?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, you are the only one really working on this relationship so you are the one who will feel the most pain when it ends. You are totally correct when you say you need to cut off communication…all of it. You need to make a complete break with the guy and tell him he is not allowed to contact you for any reason and that you will not see him or talk to him. He is a liar and a cheat and does not deserve your time, patients, or love. It will hurt and it will take time, but it will get better. Just remember an amazing guy is out there right now looking for you!

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    • He tells me he's been trying by being "nice" to me. All he really does it talk to me, he won't make effort to see me or make me feel secure, but at this point, I don't think security can be accomplished.. He doesn't want to feel like the bad guy, and wants to avoid his past with me, but keep me... This is the part I'm struggling with. When I push, he pulls, and when I pull he pushes.. Any more advice for this? I've been trying to cut him out for a month now.

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What Guys Said 2

  • First I would just tell him it's over. Then DO NOT communicate with him anymore. Third, clear your mind and body and be OK with yourself. Lastly, find a new guy, not just any guy, but a good guy.

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    • The cutting communication part is seeming to be the hardest part right now.

  • my one and only advice...end it now

    i got caught up in a situation with a girl that was with other guys and yeah wasn't a nice dinner conversation.

    good luck

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What Girls Said 1

  • He has a typical passive aggressive nature. Turning everything on you. He dodges all responsibility and twists it by saying you are nagging/accusing him even though you haven't done a thing wrong. If he's on a dating site he cares nothing for you. He will eventually drive you crazy and give you low self esteem if you haven't it already. My advice is he won't change. Tell him you are not happy and cut communication for a while. Cos you are too available for him he takes you for granted.

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