Haven't Seen Him in 3yrs. Long Dist. He Told Me He Likes Me, Now How Often Should I Expect to Hear From Him?

So I'm 25 and he is too. We knew each other as friends casually in college. He graduated in 2011 and I did in 2012. I was dating other guys most of the time we knew each other, but we were friends (but I was better friends with his sister).

He moved away and is in TX and I have seen him literally 2 min since he graduated in 2011. I am now living in Ohio. A few months ago, as I was ending another relationships he started chatting with me, catching up and stuff. It was great to talk.

In December, I was clearly single and he said during one of our chats, "I was essentially his dream girl and it was only a matter of chemistry" to determine what direction we should go, since we haven't really seen each other in 3 years that's tough. But I did tell him I was pleasantly surprised by his move towards me, I had been interested as well.

Later I asked how long he had been interested in me. He said since 2010 and pointed to a few specific events and moments that I was pretty oblivious of. That was 3 weeks ago and we have had little conversation since. I am old school and think he should initiate calls, texts and such. So I try to keep it to a min. I have not called him - ever.

His words, and because of the type of person he is I am convinced he's serious.

He works alot, and is a tax preparer, so he's busy working 70hrs for another month, but I still feel like he should want to talk more than 1-2 times a month.

So Guys... from this... Would you say he's seriously interested? How often would you talk to a girl on the phone?

I've heard guys lose track of time... but girls count the hours...

Well this guy ended up calling me a lot more. Like a lot. Most days. We could easily have 3 hr conversations. One day we talked 8. We talked like this for months. since it was going to be 3 months till he could visit.
He's not rich, yet for my birthday he sent me $150 gift. And He flew out ($600 flight) to see me a few weeks after that. It was the first time I've seen him in 3 years.

Then he got here and the first few days were great :) Teasing. Flirting, etc

Then he kinda freaked out "I'm not ready to get serious or get married yet" and he went home. I haven't talked to him for 2 weeks since he left. Not quite sure what to think... Any thoughts? What should I do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • well as you said he is always busy but he should also make time for you as well if he is serious. He can try calling you about 10 to 15 times a month at least even if it is short conversations, there are guys who can call their girls up to 10 times in a day and I also think you should try calling him too.

  • He is checking to see if you're DTF. If that's all you want, then go for it. If you put out on hopes of him falling in love with you, you're going to get used. LONG DISTANCE LOVE TAKES MORE OF A COMMITMENT than just words. He already has you at a disadvantage, you're interested, he's miles away, and after he gets what he wants, who's to say you'll ever hear from him again? Be smart.

    • Perhaps that's what most guys would want, and they are jerks. We're both virgins and saving it for marriage and what drew him to me wasn't my physical attributes, but instead my character.

      My main question I guess was how often does an invested guy contact a girl when he is interested. I don't want to have unrealistic expectations, but some kind of idea of how guys approach starting a relationship. The two guys I've dates were both on unhealthy ends of the spectrum - so what's the balance?

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