I can't get over my bf?

I was with my LDR boyfriend for 2 years and I am having hard time getting over him...

He stopped communicating with me after he lost his reputation at work. He is in the military and he got in trouble even it was a honest mistake. The last time I talked to him he was sweet and loving but he was also very agnry and depressed about the circumstance that he had to face...After the insident happened at his work he also stopped communicating with his family and now he is not talking to anybody. Today no one can reach him. We all know he is safe and alive because he is in the military. If he is hurt his mom would get a call from his boss. I wish I could go see him but I am currently in the different country so I can not visit him...(anyway I can't just go there and see him because I do not have the access to his base)

Even after he stopped talking and replying emails I kept sending him simple, short and positive texts to him to encourage him. He is in the military so I know his days are tough. I also wanted to let him know that I was still here for him...but it has been 2 months now. He keeps ignoring my contacts. He is not cheating or with other girls. But anyway he is probably not capable of continuing relationship with me and this relationship is most likely over but it is so hard for me to get over him.

His last words were I love you and he wanted to go through this hard time for both of us.

I still love him so much even I do not get to talk to him anymore.

We were also engaged and getting married in this year. I tried to stay close to his parents to be strong and wait for him to call but I am getting weak...

Do you think I should try to put my effort to forget about him?

Or is it okay to wait for him still? My heart is still with him...

I know I am pretty stupid but it is so hard...

Please give me any advise.

Thank you.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sweetie, being he has somehow stopped communicating with mom and dad, and Not just you, something is telling me, that two months later, he may have had to---"take whatever punishment like a man."

    If he has had some major concerns and problems in the military, chances are, his branch has chastised him in some way, where they Forbid him to communicate with anyone, and that included even family. I have seen this done before. It could be another four months, maybe longer, depending on the severity of the punishment, before You or any of his family even gets an email.

    It's your call if you want to forget him, but you did mention being engaged here. And just for the record, what if you were his Wife, instead of his---fiance? Just a thought to consider.

    "For better Or for worse, in sickness and in health.."

    I am not totally sure what I would do in this case if I were in your shoes. I don't believe he has dumped You, Nor his family, but I Do believe, in my experience with some military matters, that they have Dumped him---and he is honestly not able to contact anyone, not even send out a---"positive text."xx

    • Paris, thank you for your comment. I thought I would be told I am being stupid that I am still waiting for him after 2 months. I have never met his mom but we are Facebook friends and we talk often. She is also hurt... He has not gave me a ring yet but he already proposed me. I hope I am still in his heart..

      I started wondering if he might be in the brig..or he is too ashamed to tell us what he is facing right now and he does not want to talk ...I hope he will come back to me soon...

    • Show All
    • Paris, one thing I worry is that he has done something similar to this before...He has ignored me for about 2 weeks before...but last time his mom tried to contact with him throught his command. She called his command and asked if everything was alright. He got message from his boss and he finally called me and apologized. He told me that he was so upset about his work situation that he did not want to talk to anyone. I know he is under lots of pressure at work right now,...

    • No matter What, It is work related, sweetie, so hang in there..It's not easy to be part of "All you can be" in the service..I know many people who have joined different branches of this, and some branches are even tougher than others..They do indeed put the pressure cooker on these people, to the point where even 5 mile runs are "vomit worthy." Thank God you have his mom, what a blessing..xx

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What Guys Said 1

  • The military is one of the least nurturing places for interpersonal relationships, of any kind, at any level. They encourage people to cut themselves off from family and friends if there are any problems.

    You're just one more victim of their mentality.

    • Exactly...and, because of this evil government, it has just gotten more evil, when it comes to---their mentality. Thank you for interjecting, Martyfellow..xx

    • Wow...really...I am surprised that three people are telling me the same thing...I hope he is okay

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