What is her motive? Am I being played? I need your opinion!

My situation is quite complicated but long story. I met a gal while I was visiting my hometown. We hit it off great, and the initial chemistry was there, but being it started out long distance, I didn't see us getting too serious. For the six months that we were together, I made the 2 hour trip once every couple weeks, only to see her for a couple days at a time. We were both getting tired of it and she asked me if I would ever consider moving. I told her I had it in my future plans, but I wasn't sure when. At the same time, I had this feeling that her ex was still in the picture somewhere. She told me about their past and how badly he treated her, but what I found odd was that she constantly talked about him in random conversation. Toward the end, I asked her if she saw a future with me. She told me she didn't see the long distance thing working and that she wasn't sure what she wanted. This popped up red flags, so I decided to end it. We split after 7 months.

A couple months went by with no contact, but then I broke the ice and we hooked up for a couple more months afterward, but nothing more happened. Our short time together fizzled out once again and we stopped speaking once again. This time I thought for good. I couldn't invest any more into it. It hurt too much.

This is where things get complicated. I ended up moving back home a couple months ago. By this time, It had been four months since we had spoken last. I break the ice once again and we start talking. She brings up the idea of starting over, but this time as friends, and taking things slow. I admit, I still had feelings for her, so I agreed. We hang out for a month, going out for dinner, movies, etc and I thought things were actually going well. She asked me at one point if I wanted to keep seeing her and If I did, she wanted it to be exclusive. I said yes. What I don't understand is, after that she started acting distant. My new job requires some travel and I left town for a week. The whole time I'm gone, she seemed not interested in talking to me. Try calling her, no answer. Send a text here and then and get a bunch of two word responses. she's either busy doing this or doing that. I get home and I ask her if she's OK. This leads to an argument and her getting defensive, telling me I'm making a big deal out of things, like she's accused me of in the past when she acted like this. I get nothing but good vibes from her for a month, then this. She refuses to tell me what the problem is, because honestly, I could sense it. She gave me the sane excuse she gave me 6 months prior. "Im not sure what I want, I guess I'm not feeling it with you right now." So now here I sit wondering what the heck hppened. don't know where this answer came from, since this getting back together was her idea. Its been two weeks since I've seen her and she no longer wants to talk or see me. Am I being used as rebound? I would of never thought this until now. Why is she doing this? Id like your thoughts. Thanks in advance!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sweetie, what I have found with many guys today, that Girls are No exception to my golden rule, and these female fatales can be just as sporadic and unpredictable. Your "fair weather girl" was on the top of the list.

    With all the time and effort that you Obviously put into this long distance relationship, she ends up giving you the cold shoulder treatment and the heave ho anyway. You probably should have never given her a second and even a Third round, because with each time, there was nothing but the same old redrick, and "Insane excuses" to boot up your butt.

    From where I'm sitting, the time you were gone off into the wilds, your Homecoming Queen has probably been "throning" with her other King, while throwing you under the Royal Gate.

    Although she Was honest in at least telling you she wanted nothing More than friends with or without the benefits, this last episode with Penelope Pitstop should Really cause not only a red flag to Pop up at you, but to get her "mixed signal" that she is blowing you off and sleeping once again with the enemy-------her ex.

    Don't sit around anymore Now and wonder anything, sweetie. She is giving you rude and crude and yes---Cruel---messages---that she Now knows what she wants, and that although she didn't know what the hell she wanted with You right now, is telling me she has the Other King in Hometown haven, and you may as well get to used to it-------There has been a "Changing of the Guard" in town.

    Yes, you might say you were her rebound, because you never were the true love you had hoped she would be. Think This now. She has been playing cards with your heart, and although in the end, she told you "just friends," she should have told You also, what the hell her problem was, so as not keep you dancing around her Spade like some kooky court jester.

    Move on, sweetie, and chalk it up as a lesson learned from One of today's many fruity females. Don't try to over think anything, it will drive you right back out of town. Get on with your life. I am quite sure there are riper apples hanging from the tree.

    Although you haven't seen Miss P with her same Lame excuses, if you will, should you ever run into her sometime in your town, turn the corner quick and show this fruitcake, that You No longer want------to talk or see her pretty little face again.

    • You absolutely speak the truth! I already had the answers based on her recent actions, just needed someone to confirm it! Thank you!

    • Why, you are so welcome! Like many of today's guys, today's girls can also hit an all time High of being just as bad..xx

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What Girls Said 2

  • I would stop getting in touch with her. Its not worth it. Something else is definitely going on.

    I can think of a couple of things

    -she is seeing someone else...ex possibly?

    -using you for company

    -emotionally unavailable

    She is sending so many mixed signals its not worth it. She can't make up her mind...hmmm this story sounds a lot like my ex. I feel like I'm giving myself my own advice here.

    • To this day, Ill never know. Someone who isn't open to communicating their feelings or any issue with the other person, isn't worth my time. Id have to agree with all of the above, she's damaged, can't get over her ex and yes, possibly still seeing him, while she's with me. Definitely need to stay away from her! Thanks for answering.

    • You are not alone I will also never know. He will never reveal his true feelings but deep down I think I know. I wish you the best.

  • I feel like she may have someone else going on. If she is the type that always needs a guy then she may have been hanging out with someone else while you were gone. If I were you I would cut your losses and move on without her. It sounds like you have quite the past and not necessarily a good one with her and you have given her plenty of chances. There are so many other girls out there therefore don't be hung up on just this one. Enjoy being single and close that chapter of your life completely.

    • Thanks for answering. You're absolutely right. It kind of makes me think she was hanging out with someone or was using me as a temporary distraction. Pretty selfish thing to do. now that I step back and look at it, it makes sense. What I can't let go of, is we never really had given it a real shot until now. Now this happens. I honwatly feel betrayed, stabbed in the back . Oh well, time to walk away like you said. Thanks!

    • If she really wanted to give it a real shot she would not be acting this way. Good luck with everything!

What Guys Said 1

  • In this case, the juice is not worth the squeeze imo.


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