#LoveYourself
VALENTINE'S DAY

So my "girlfriend" just dumped me after I gave her my Valentine's day present.

Okay so I have been dating this girl for almost 2 months now and I thought we were doing great and we had planned out the entire day for today. I even took a day off work so we could be together for the whole day. This morning I went to pick her up and gave her flowers, chocolates, and a pretty nice necklace as her gift. She looked really happy at first but then she started tearing up. I asked her what was wrong and she said she couldn't take the gifts because she was leaving me. I was so shocked that I almost dropped the gifts from my hands.

I asked her why and why wait until now and she said, "I'm so sorry I actually was really starting to like you but I made a friend a promise. Alyssa says hi" Then another guy came to the door and asked "Who's at the door babe?"And that's when I actually dropped the gifts and she closed the door on me with tears still running down her face.

Alyssa was my ex and she left me because I cheated on her with her best friend at a party when we were both really wasted. I know I deserve what happened to me today but that happened over a year ago. She must have been planning this for a while which is kind of crazy. But it definitely worked since I really liked this girl and I guess she was starting to like me too. I gotta hand it to my ex though that was really well played. This is definitely my first time feeling this way and I guess that is how she felt when I cheated on her so we are even.

I know I shouldn't but I really want to call her (not Alyssa) and tell her that she really broke my heart this morning but if she has feelings for me still (which she clearly does) we shouldn't throw away a relationship that we were both happy in just because my ex wants to get back at me. I'm not even mad at what she did because I know I deserved it.

I cheated on her and can't ever change that but it was a mistake that I will never make again after feeling how I felt today. I think the guy that came to the door was just a friend she had acting like her boyfriend because most guys would not be okay with their girlfriends seeing another guy even if it was all planned for revenge. My plotting ex was probably watching the whole thing from inside for all I know.

Do you think I should do that or just leave it alone, move on and learn from this experience?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • She made a promise to her friend, your ex, and went through with it, even though she had or has feelings for you. I think the chance of her giving in and ignoring that (mean) promise to that friend is very slim. I'm afraid, if she wants you back, she has to make that decision herself and do it because she wants to. If I were you, how hard it would be, I would just leave them all alone.

    I wouldn't show them how hurt you are, that's just what they want (or at least what your ex wants). I would ignore them, what they do or say and try to move on from that.

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    • Yeah she will probably not go back on that promise unless they get into a fight. I'll get over this eventually but today will suck!

    • Yeah, I can imagine! It's hard but you'll get over this eventually, it's a cliche but give it time :)

Valentines Day

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What Girls Said 11

  • Woooowwwwww that sucks all around. It sucks that you're a cheater, but two wrongs don't make a right. If you need closure or an actual explanation, by all means contact her. BUT just saying, it sounds like she was only with you from the start in order to dump you. That's pretty evil.

    Wasn't this a movie or something? Lol

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    • Yeah being a cheater sucks, that was actually the first time I cheated and being wasted is no excuse but her best friend liked me ever since we first met and I probably wouldn't have gave in if I hadn't been so drunk. She must have been really hurt since 2 people that she thought she trusted betrayed her so I can't really be that mad at my ex either. I think there is a movie about something like this happening lol.

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    • No, I don't have to admire the fact that someone intentionally made a grandiose plan to hurt someone else, even though that someone else had hurt them first. It's actually worse than what he did because it's cold, manipulating, soulless, premeditated, and obsessive to the point that person sounds like she has a personality disorder to do something like that. His fault was that he was an idiot, they're completely diff.

    • @oappo I know I am actually really impressed with the whole thing. I should have seen it coming because it was all a little too easy and perfect from the start but I never imagined my ex would hold a grudge for that long.

  • I would move on. This all sounds really dramatic. I would think that starting a relationship with someone that began in a situation like this would be really difficult. :(

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    • True and I would have something against her in future fights...kind of. I think you're right better to just learn from this and move on.

  • Leave it alone dude. Karma is a biatch. ALSO because of your behavior and what your girlfriend did on Valentines day,and your ex is in the mix...it just sounds incredibly messy and "spoiled". So...just move on. You only want this girl this much because she dumped you. And the circumstances surrounding it is too negative for words. Just learn and move on.

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  • First of all, do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who can be manipulated by your ex to hurt you? The new girlfriend should be apologizing to you and tell your ex to get lost. Take a breather and find someone else to be the girlfriend you deserve.

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  • Absolutely! You sound well aware of the depth of the pain you caused your ex. I think what she did (BTW are you 100% sure it was planned?) was incredibly low but the benefit is that now you are tit-for-tat and only now do you have the chance to take the high road.

    Neither of these women are the type you should be involved with if you have gained self-respect after that humiliating but "deserved" attack. Look forward to a life filled with trusting relationships with kind, honest women who you can be your best self with.

    I find your admission of guilt very noble and a good sign you won't feel as brazen if a cheating opportunity arises in the future, but that is up to you.

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  • Probably move on. It sounds super dramatic and unnecessary.

    What if she never liked you and was just a great actress?

    What if she does like you, but can't trust you because of what you did to your last girlfriend?

    What if your girlfriend wants more revenge, and her friend is down for whatever plan?

    It is WAY to messy to keep things up, IMO. IT doesn't sound like you have trouble getting women, so you shouldn't sweat it. 2 months isn't really that much of an F you either, now if she had waited until after a year of dating you? That would have been ice cold.

    good luck to you.

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  • Move on, learn from it and put yourself back out there when you feel better about it all!

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  • move on, this girl agreed to fake date you and then split up with you so she isn't innocent in all of this. she might have developed feelings since she started dating you but she still planned to mess with your head and leave you broken hearted at first, why would you want a girl who can agree to do that kind of thing?

    you have to stop blaming yourself for the cheating, yes it was wrong but you didn't plan to go and do it and hurt your ex, it just happened due to too much alcohol and being unable to think straight. waiting a year and plotting for someone to break up with you on Valentine's day seems way more vindictive and malicious than what you did so you aren't even she went way too far.

    dont message her, its what your ex is hoping so she knows she really hurt you

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  • Yeah... I think she might still have feelings for you, but deep down she knows she could never love you again. You cheated and no matter what she feels she should never date you again. There are NO excuses. There are other girls out there that you will love more.

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  • Yeah but you cheated. Karma is real.

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    • AU, Why are you anonymous your comment isn't offensive at all if anything most of my comments should be anonymous.

  • I think you should move on. I mean you can always try but this girl is Alyssa's friend and loyal enough to actually go on with that plan so I doubt she will actually be comfortable with pursing a real relationship with you unless you want to deal with some sort of secret, dramatic relationship.

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What Guys Said 4

  • You got what was coming to you.

    Score is even. Let it go.

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    • You're right, but its gonna suck spending the day single. Maybe I should just go to work and try to forget about it but either way today will suck LOL

  • ''Do you think I should do that or just leave it alone, move on and learn from this experience?''

    Dude karma's a bitch I know but this is completely different this girl cheated on you & whether you deserved it or not doesn't matter she still cheated on you so NO! You shouldn't try to get back with her this is her own bed now she needs to lie in it. Also sleep with her little sister or something like that & don't forget to fuck Alyssa's little sister as well. This isn't about who's right or who's wrong this is about getting even.

    BTW, Kick the ASS of the dude who slept with your now Ex girlfriend & I don't care if he didn't know what was going on after all this isn't about who's right or wrong this is about GETTING EVEN! (:

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    • I thought about it but I really don't have time and we are even now so don't want to turn this into a feud. If she could wait this long to do this and plan it so well who knows what else she is capable of. I got better things to do with my time.

    • QA, Who cares about the what if's if she's cold & calculating then you need to be even more cold & calculating. You don't get better at fighting by wondering what's gonna happen if you decide to fight back right?

    • I mean the fact that she waited that long and still went through with it shows that she was really hurt. Think about it her best friend and her boyfriend both betrayed her. They were best friends since kindergarten and we only dated for 6 months. If it wasn't her best friend that betrayed her she would have probably went to her for help after...but she couldn't even do that. So if this helps her get over it I will gladly take it like a man and move on.

  • Anyone that manipulative and petty, both Alyssa and her friend that played this maneuver with youmshould be ashamed of themselves.

    Deliberately setting you up like this is worse than what you did, since you didn't plan to hurt your esx..you just got wasted and got out of control.

    The girl as crying because she was ashamed of the role she played, and she should have been!

    I would tell them off for this and then walk away form both of them for good. You didn't deserve to be set up in this cold blooded way. I've had this sort of experience and I know!

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  • Dude you cheated on your ex with her best friend. Not only did you break her heart romantically but you caused her best friend to betray her. I have no sympathy for you whatsoever.

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Valentines Day
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