How to cope with a serious break-up?

I'll save you the details, really would just rather avoid them. It's been awhile, but like every breakup, there are still moments where you look back..and just think on it. It was a mess really...don't know where it went wrong, but..it sure as Hell did. Now we don't talk, won't talk. She thinks I'm Satan, for lack of a better term. See, I did love her, with all my heart. I tried, so hard to keep things going, begged for a second chance, but it just wasn't the same. Now, here I am, locked in sorrow and thought. No where to go, nothing to do. So, reason why I am here, is to ask what some of you do in order to...well, keep it at bay? Try and stay happy, or just get that fake smile. Every second I think about her, the past, the love we shared. It kills me, now that it is gone. What can I do? I really could use some help.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't try and stuff your feelings away because bottling it up and pasting on a smile for friends and family won't help you. Be honest, tell people that you're doing okay, and realize that some days are better than others. What I do is accept (as hard as it is) that the relationship is over, but realize that you met for a reason, she was a part of your life and didn't want to give it another go. Time will help you move forward but try not to glance back at the past to often. Just realize that you are a wonderful person and have a lot to give... to someone else. What I would recommend doing, is go out with friends, go bowling or dancing etc. Maybe think about finding a new hobby or something, go running, try painting etc, something that you've wanted to do but haven't had time or something before. Just be brave and know that it may be hard now, but that it will, get better.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I've been there, done that and got the t-shirt. it sucks big time. My ex refuses to even acknowledge my existence, so I know how that feels and our break up wasn't that messy. I tried twice to reconcile, to no avail and gave up.

    7 months on, I'm gonna tell you, you just have to forget about them. They won't ever come round, well not for a good few years anyway. I suggest going and finding someone else to have that love with. Life is too short as I have learned.

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  • I got a job working with horses at 7 am for the summer after my break up. I needed a routine and exercise and a reason not to lie in bed. Also horses are the best way to get me to smile and feel happy.

    I suggest some very rigorous active work, early morning and doing something you enjoy. Maybe a gig at a golf range or assisting a coach of a soccer team or something.

    I can't tell you how much that job really helped me stay sane, it was early enough not to disrupt my other profession and I also stayed in good shape which helped my self-esteem when thinking of dating again.

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  • I feel that there are no words of comfort for this matter. The only thing that helps is time. If you are sad or angry listen to music that express how you feel. Your heart just needs to heal

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  • It's sad to say that it's quite common, and very normal. I'm currently in that phase too, trying to get over my ex. Try not to talk about her, and if you do, make it a once in a while pouring out.

    I know even not talking about her, will still make you think about her, it's okay, I'm still like that with my ex

    Try to meet new people, not saying to get into another relationship, or get another crush, but meeting new people and forming new bonds help put more attention and energy on them and less on the ex. I'm meeting new guys, and yes I haven't fallen for any of them but I do start to think of he-who-shall-not-be-named less and less each day.

    act as if you don't care about her, and that you don't even notice or see her when you do, after a while you will really notice her less.

    not sure if it helps, but currently these are helping me little by little:)

    good luck

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  • Sadly, this happen to a lot of people. It may sound werid but when I was where you are I searched up quotes it really helps to know you aren't the only one that went through this and that there are people where you were and they made it through. You will mostly likely look back on The relationship and want to go back to her several times but just remind yourself why you are moving on. Maybe write down things that were bad in the relationship because right now your looking at what you lost not what you gained. Figure out what you need not what anyone else needs focus on yourself. Go do something with friends get your mind of things for a while or just go on a simple walk enjoy that time to yourself. It will take time how much time is the question it may take weeks maybe even months but you will get better. Maybe find someone new once your ready wish the best:)

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  • I felt the exact way you did during my first break up. After time helped me heal that wound, I entered another relationship, which unfortunately was very painful and just a mess...BUT, this time, instead of feeling completely broken and depressed, I thought about how I no longer cared about my first ex boyfriend who made me feel the same way. I learned from my past that the feelings that you have and I had are temporary. Years from now, you might even be glad the break up happened, like me :)

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    • Quite possibly yes, you are right. It's just harder since we were a serious relationship. I'm trying, believe me I am. Just rough, you know. -sigh- Thanks for the advice though, some can help, others can heal. But for most, we have to overcome our own obstacles. This, is my hardest one yet, that's for sure.

What Guys Said 1

  • There's only so much that you can do because ultimately, you need time. There is no easy method to overcome this feeling; however, you can just start deleting pictures and get rid of things that meant something in your relationship. Now, it is the time to focus on yourself in terms of professionalism. Write the goals that you want to accomplish in terms of school or work. Read a book or learn a new language. You can sit there and mope and listen to sappy love songs or break up songs. Another thing you can do is go out with your buddies and find a rebound girl.

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    • A rebound girl is not my type of thing. I'm a gamer, and a musician, so I use that to cope at the worst of times. It is still very hard, even worse that I never really got to explain the fallback of the relationship, for she believed someone else over me. So, I never got that closure that most people do get, and that hurts just as much as not being able to do anything to fix things. It's a problem for me when I can't fix something, or make it right. I have too much compassion not to just let go.

    • There are many things that you cannot fix in life; for those moments or events, it's pointless to dread over them. You will realize it one day, and you will let go; you must let go. If you told her you are sorry for what you've done, then that's all you can do. You have to put those feelings a side.

    • True, but a serious relationship like this one was makes the pain worse. That, and long distance adds to it, along with I still talk with her brother. He's a good guy, and a great friend. Just, a little edgy give the circumstances. I'll overcome it somehow, guess I just needed some opinions to help kill some of that depressive loneliness.

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