Mutual breakup due to various reasons, want her back, what to do?

Me and my girlfriend broke up due to various reasons.

Number one being she can't tell her parents about me, don't ask why, but she can't. She isn't allowed to get close to guys according to her family. she feels guilty about dating me.

Number two, that we were so madly in love and future seemed so uncertain that we were scared it would ruin our lives in the future.

Number three, this is sort of post breakup, I was so angry and I screamed and misbehaved because she made a new guy friend. I am not trying to say that I am better than him, but what me and my ex went throught in a 6month relationship and what we did for each other people who are together for decades don't even get that sort of chance. I pushed her really far away and she is now sort of scared, in a way that ill ruin my self.

What bothers me the most is that she has her mind set on this breakup, she said that its better that we both move on. Though I agree with this, I can't let her go immediately because I went through a tragedy a year ago and now that its almost a year, I've started feeling nostalgic and it makes me depressed, I was really looking forward to my girlfriend being there for me.

What she says to me is that she cares about me, so she wants me to go through this alone so I can come out stronger, what she doesn't understand is that I might come out stronger but if I go through this alone I fuck up my studies and I can not afford that.

She refuses to meet me because she says she becomes vulnerable and feels like going against what she decided for us.

I know she loves me and I knownshe still cares, but I want her to realize that I really want her, especially now to be there for me, may sound selfish but when she went throuh a particular tragedy I made it my ain purpose and mission to help her get through it, I ask the same in return from her.

What to do, to get her back?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sweetie, from where I am sitting, you have three strike against you, and the future with her Now is looking even less promising.

    When she refused you visiting rights to "meet the parents," and for some reason everything was even dark and dingy for what should have been happy and carefree, the last on this list was this "red hot lovers" saga, of when you went spastic on her, bullying her because of a newbie friend. Because of All this Drama Queen donkey nonsense, now it looks as though she is running for her life, and you are having problems catching up to her.

    If you really are as madly in love with her as you say, don't stop trying to get through to her. I do believe she will finally cave in. I have experienced this same ordeal in my own life, and I find that when two people have been nurturing a relationship for so long, love does find a way.

    Also in relationships, couples Do need to be there for one another, and if you had a tragedy happen to you nearly a year ago, you do need Someone to be there for you. The same applies to her in her time of need. I wish I could promise that it will end up to be with each other, and if it does, just how long before it will be when you both can come to terms of all the nostalgia.

    Although she still loves you and knows how you feel, presently she is choosing to stay within this shell of a woman, and has even given "set Choices" as to what she has---decided for her and you.

    It's not unheard of, and it's not as though it hasn't or Can't be accomplished, but being you both have gone through so much in your lives, I do think you need one another, especially now.

    However, Give it some time. Leave her alone for just awhile to do some soul searching. Wait a few more weeks in between to keep trying. The more you harp, the more she may be hiding even deeper in her shell. Maybe the persistency is only making her more depressed, making her more frustrated, so give her some room to breath. Go slower, take your time.

    Perhaps In time, maybe not right away, it will it happen again for her and for you. I do believe, with your love, support and understanding and-----determination, "gently given"----- that sometime down this rocky road, you both will come to grips with a better perception, stronger now, and---- Only asking all of This, in return.xx

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    • paris you are missing the point, this is a whole lot of nothing.

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    • Oh, okay, more info updates..I always get that after the fact..another guy in the pix? You didn't say, just now. maybe if I had known about "another half," I could have "best answered it"..If she is Now with another guy? Move on..sounds as though she is hooked to the hip with someone else, No, Not Better than you, just maybe as a -------rebound. Believe me..happens all the time..xx

    • I kept believing she is a good girl, but she said this is how she deals with her breakup, I feel heart broken.

      I told her off, and said I am not here to be your friend and won't feed your ego trying to chase you.

      I said the pain and depression in past two weeks was because of her, and said, "it wasn't so great knowing you", she then said "wow okay" and I haven't texted her since and won't ever. Do you think she will try contacting me?

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What Girls Said 1

  • Go chase her. Write her letters explaining your love for her and act like you care. From my understanding , sounds like she doesn't want you but if none of that works, find a new girl that's your friend and make her jealous or don't pay any attention to her or think about her. Just ignore her for a couple of weeks or so. If she doesn't call or contact you in a couple of days and weeks then she doesn't care . Go out , have fun, go to the club , and get a drink while you are not paying attention to her, act like you do not care. Once you ignore her , she will come back running to you , if she doesn't contact you then she doesn't care and its time for you to get over it because she ins't interested. Good Luck. I wish you the best.

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