"the spark is gone"?

My boyfriend broke up with me. About a month ago we had a blowout one night when I confronted him about being cold/distant/tense with me and we broke up for like 4 days. Then he wanted to talk and we decided to try again. Well it was good for a week and then the distance set in again and he finally said he wanted to break up after a month.

I asked him multiple times why and he didn't have any answer except "the spark isn't there anymore"...which honestly just makes it harder. what did I do to make it disappear? We were dating for 5 or 6 months

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I find that more times than less, That "spark" in a relationship, that once was this chemistry that ignited enough to bring two people together, many times fizzles out----even in just as short a time as---5 or 6 months. It could be anything from soup to nuts, and with the fighting, and no coming to some sort of compromise to get things burning again, a relationship can end up in ruins of both regrets And ashes.

    It's time to forget him, sweetie, move on, and get your mind and---your inquisitive heart----away from him. Even if you were to initiate another meeting of the minds for one last row for the show, it probably would end up no better, and no---different. Dead in the water, is all.

    I don't think it was so much what You Did, it's more like what You Both had done, because as you have probably heard: It takes two to tangle. So don't blame yourself entirely. If you are even for Once thinking this, then along with the no spark, will also heat up some guilt ridden flashes, that will incessantly haunt you, making life even more difficult to Roll on with your life.

    Chalk it up as just some "romancing the dead stone" live and learn rendezvous. And while you are at it, do some serious soul searching for what may have went wrong. This in turn, makes us learn from our past mistakes, to better equip yourselves for other future fuses of----- "he said, she said."xx

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What Guys Said 2

  • My dear friend do not try to whip a dead horse. And do not try to forget. Time will take care of it.

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  • sorry to say it happens. real love is'nt "proven" in 6 months. and I've been there.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Same thing with me---did you have sex soon after you met? We did--learned my lesson---make them wait! build a relationship first. I feel your pain. Going through it now.

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    • I had sex with my boyfriend on the second date. Just celebrated our two year anniversary this Tuesday.

      It's not about how early you start having sex, but what sort of person you're getting involved with.

    • many of today's guys can't be trusted as what or how they will feel tomorrow..sporadic, unpredictable..

    • Yeah I slept with my boyfriend almost right away because I didn't want a relationship and we are coming up on two years. I read an article written by a man that said they generally didn't care if you slept with them right away, but it was more about the connection in general. So even if you had waited, it may not have worked out anyway.. Like masked said, it's about the type of person and not whether or not you had sex too quickly.

  • I can sympathize; I'm kind of in the same situation right now. I keep thinking I did something wrong, and that if I had known, I could have saved the relationship. But as a friend told me, in the end, it wasn't anything you did wrong or even anything that he did wrong. If there isn't real intimacy there when the spark dies, then perhaps it just wasn't meant to be. Or, on the other hand, he could just be a jerk who got bored. :P Either way, if he wasn't willing to make it work, he's not worth your time or effort.

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