I'm so confused, what should I do about him?

I'm really, really conflicted so I'd appreciate any help at all!

I thought this guy liked me for a while based on several signs he'd been giving me. Because I didn't want to miss out on a chance I told him that I wanted to get to know him better. Well some time passed apart from each other and I was hoping he'd make a move after but nothing ever happened.

We've continued talking but he's been talking to and sitting with this other girl a lot. There's been a lot of teasing and joking back and forth between them that makes me think that they're interested in each other, so I decided to leave it alone and move on.

But for some reason he's still talking to me - he always says my name when he talks to me and never does this with her. He's started to tease me a little and always with this big smile on his face. There's been a few times where he's lingered near me, glancing over like he clearly wants to say something to me but he can't think of what. He also has complimented me (which I haven't heard him do to the other girl). It seems like between them there's this constant play-arguing, mocking and sarcasm but he's more serious around me, and lately he's started teasing me about my shyness.

It's killing me because I really like the guy, but if he's interested in this other girl I just want to forget about it all and move on instead of wasting my time, and I don't want to interfere if he likes this other girl. But I don't know what to think about the whole situation. What should I do?

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What Guys Said 1

  • No wonder you're conflicted, as under the circumstances most people would be. There could be several different reasons for his behavior, but it will probably take a little push from you to get to the truth. Either he recognized you were interested and liked the attention or idea of you being around waiting in the wings, or maybe he is kind of shy too, and this other girl made the first move or at least seems more approachable, plus it's always easier to talk to someone who you don't care as much about, as could be the case with her. You don't have to worry about messing up or saying the wrong thing. Bottom line is you are going to have to ask him straight up what is happening and that you feel maybe you're getting mixed signals. Clearly you're not a stalker, but you had already said you wanted to get to know him better, and now that he is spending more time with this other girl, you just want him to tell you what, if anything he sees happening between the two of you. Do it nice and friendly (non-confrontational), but in such a way, he will come clean or so you'll at least be able to see if he's being straight with you, and then you can make a decision whether you want to worry about his intentions or not anymore.

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    • He's definitely not shy around most people, he's normally very comfortable and confident...but he might be shy about relationships/feelings. He's a really kind person so I can't imagine that he'd be jerking me around on purpose, which is why it's all so confusing to me. Thank you for your advice!

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