Advice needed! I would like for us to try again even though we broke up?

My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago and I have not had any contact with him since. Basically this guy is one of the nicest,sweetest guys I have met! He was loyal respectful and so many great things. He was crazy about me,and I was about him. THEN...early December he got into a motorcycle accident and had to immediately fly out to Europe for foot surgery. It all happened so fast,but because of this debacle,we ended up missing Christmas together,our vacation together,and New Years together.

While he was in Europe,things were rough him dealing with his family as well as recuperating from the accident. He would often show anxiety by saying things like," Someone is going to steal you because I'm not there." " You're going to have moved on without me." etc,etc. He informed me of some of his insecurity issues before,but I thought they were getting better. He came back Jan 31st,behaving like everything was normal. We met up,and he decided to break up with me as I stood before him holding $200 worth of Christmas gifts for him.Needless to say I was shocked and hurt,and felt like an ass.

He then came by my apartment to retrieve his keys. He tried to give me a sentimental keychain that he has had for 20 years...of course I declined and he seemed disappointed. This guy spoke about me meeting his family and vacationing and other progressive things to turn around and be cold as ice. We got along swimmingly well,but his insecurities seem to have had a major hand in the demise of our relationship. I wrote him a long email Hoping he would read it and come to his senses.

I hate feeling like this day in and day out because obviously,its not really in my hands right now. I go through blaming myself although I know I didn't do anything wrong. I want for us to try again,but for us to obviously further address some issues. I haven't contacted him because I believe in maintaining my dignity,and only having the best. But I'm constantly hurting...day in and day out. He truly is a beautiful person but with issues like anyone else.

I don't know what to do at this point. We have of course missed Valentine's day,my bday is on Feb 25th and his is on March 2nd. I dunno. I'm just hurting. Advice?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sweets, I'm proud of you for trying to hold on to your dignity, DO this, hold onto it and realize that he made a mistake. I know that you probably really loved him, but let this be an opportunity for you to branch out and do new things, meet new people and experience other things in life. Break ups suck, they just do, we've all had to go through them in our own way. If you still have his phone number, write it down on a piece of paper, then delete him from your phone, so that you won't be tempted to call him up or text him, remember HE broke up with you, by not talking to him you show him that you're going to be okay, it's also good that you sent an e-mail just to let him know that you wish him the best, an honorable thing to do. You don't want to be with someone that doesn't have enough confidence in himself, take it this way, you guys had history together, good and bad times and you both learned from each other, take your time and heal okay? And reflect on things that you will look for in your next relationship (down the road) it's perfectly okay to cry, if you feel like crying do it, but then after a little bit, stand up, wipe your eyes and tears away and tell yourself that you're going to be okay, you're just in the low peak of the valley right now, but sooner or later you'll climb back up to the summit and watch the new sunrise. Best of luck to you.

    • Thanks for the kind words,I'm actually holding up pretty well in large part because I was my best self during the relationship. So I choose to be positive about it and wait it out. I do believe in positive energy and manifesting positive things whether it is a renewed relationship with him or someone else entirely. I'm pretty good at reading situations,and I am almost certain he ended things out of fear...its something we spoke about before. Being that I care so much for him,I'm just going to

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    • I have no real desire to reach out and say anything to him now,although his number is still in my phone. My gut says to be completely silent,and that's what I'm doing.:)

    • You have a kick a** attitude about it which I like, this is exactly what you should be thanking. You're going to meet someone new that will be even better and more brave for you, I believe that G_d doesn't close doors and open windows... he closes one door and then opens a bigger door. haha (My pastor says that.) best of luck!

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What Guys Said 1

  • What were his reasons for breaking up? If he's not replied to the e-mail, it's likely his mind is made up already.

    • The email wasn't a plea for anything. The email was observations and I already know that when people supposedly breakup,at that point its supposedly "final". I have experienced him freaking out over small things due to his insecurities before,and I would text an extensive explanation of what was ACTUALLY happening so he would see he was just creating a problem where there wasn't one. He later would thank me for putting it in writing so that he could get a grip and make sense of his own

    • Irrational thoughts. So that was the point of me sending it...so he could read it,and let it sit with him for a while. I asked this question last night here on gag,and I don't feel like it benefiting me in anyway really. This site never really says anything good about breakups although EVERY breakup is different. Since posting this question,I have decided to just be really positive and WAIT. I know that he has to go away for another surgery in March so he would be away for another month. That

    • will be more time for him to think and me as well. I choose to be positive about it because nothing about it sits with me,and deep within I don't feel like its done at all really. But thanks for your response,it is a appreciated. I hope to follow up with a positive update of this situation super soon. :D

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