..Where do I begin... lol... I'm seeking some guys' opinions on a situation I'm in.. Girls' too.. I had been seeing this guy for about four months ( we were intimate).. I have known him however for over 7+ years, we have pretty close knit mutual friends. We used to 'talk"/date about 4 years ago (prior to these 4 months of dating), however, we were living in different states and he ended up becoming a father and once that happened, we sort of parted ways and lost touch, but amicably. About four months ago we ran into each other and our old flame rekindled. We hadn't been intimate until this time around however, (so four months ago).. We spent a lot of time together and he seemed to be interested in progressing with me and building a friendship with me, which he insisted is the basis of a strong foundation for a healthy, working relationship... So for four motnhs I sort of went a long with this whole friendship building thing, but after s o long, I began to wonder if I am just wasting time, emotions and risking a broken heart by continuing what we had going on.. I let him know how I was feeling, gave him some time to figure things out in his mind and come to a conclusion about whether or not he wanted to commit to me, make things official. In my mind, doing this would add more security to the relationship and I'd be able to let go of my reservations about us and really open my heart to him. After he took some time, he revealed that he was scared that would not be able to commit to me 100% and that he wasn't ready for a relationship after coming out of a pretty messy relationship of four years with his child's mother.. This of course was a blow for me. Though I do understand that it's possible we're on two different pages and the timing may be wrong, I felt a bit misled, used and very hurt... I told him I would be unable to continue a friendship... He was pretty angry and claimed I was "running" and that I was impatient (four months too soon to ask for a relationship/or ask where the relationship is going? - he had already been telling me we were progressing toward that) Guys, how do you feel when a girl cuts you off in situations like these? I did it honestly because I felt emotionally threatened and I don't want to play the role of the stupid girl who keeps holding onto a guy that just isn't willing or ready to commit.. Been there , done that... But still, I'm left wondering if I am really running.. if I indeed gave up too soon or am if I am being wise... Thoughts?
Most Helpful Girl
For me, this is a tough one. But the way I see it, you did the right thing in confronting him with your concerns. For a relationship, you need to be able to communicate. I don't think he should have been angry with you when you told him you would be unable to continue a friendship. I think he should have been supportive (although, he may be angry because he is upset he's going to lose you...maybe he has feelings for you). I understand that he's been through a lot, and everyone needs a certain amount of time to heal, but you can't wait around forever on a "maybe" or "what ifs". You feel hurt, now you yourself need time to heal. Maybe later you can continue to talk and become friends. Like you said, it's probably not the right time. Hunny, I say try not to worry about this too much. Do what you think is right. Take some time to think about what you want. You two aren't committed to each other. See other guys. Figure out your feelings. What's meant to be will always find a way. I hope I've helped even if it's just a bit.0