I am over my ex, I don't want anything to do with him. However now and again little things crop up in my mind about how he treated me and got away with it. He got a new girlfriend only 4 weeks after we broke up and he treats her like a princess. I was so loving towards him, I bought him gifts all the time, I cuddled him when he cried, I looked after him and listened to him whenever he needed me and I never asked him for anything, so why did he treat me badly?
This question keeps cropping up and I feel hurt all over again.
For instance it was Valentine's day recently, and I just thought about how badly he treated me on Valentine's day last year. It hurts. I don't want him back, he's an idiot, but it just hurts still.
Any thoughts on why I am still feeling like this after so long? Surely I should have forgotten about this all by now?
Thank you :)
Most Helpful Girl
I think its because you are allowing your mind to keep putting the past on repeat. Also,in general time will heal. But it seems like you need to take control of your mind. I think you need to ACCEPT What transpired between the two of you. That is the first step. Accept that it happened. Next...TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your part in what happened. I know. You were amazing to him and he treated you like garbage. BUT...take responsibility for allowing to happen. Remember this,"people only treat you how you ALLOW them to treat you." You could have walked away at the first sign of disrespect...but you didn't...because you cared for him. I'm not saying his behavior is your fault,I'm saying accept that you didn't leave the situation and treat it as a LESSON.
Next...FORGIVE him. Forgive him that he didn't know how to treat you better. Until you release all of those negative feelings you have for him,you will NEVER be able to move forward. Forgive him for hurting you and not being able to accept your love.
Last,FORGIVE yourself. For spending hours and days lamenting on the situation and for not allowing yourself to move forward. Forgive yourself for staying when it would have been best to leave the relationship. Forgiveness and acceptance in my opinion or two of the biggest and strongest ways to move forward from trauma and heartache. Its difficult to do but you can do it.
I was hurt badly by someone a few years ago and I was hurt for months reliving everything in my mind day in and day out. But I analyzed the situation so I would never make that mistake again.This is the process I had to go through in order to move forward and leave it in the past...and you can too.