I don't have many friends I can talk to about with this sort of thing, and would like some insight or "pep talk" on what to do.
He's overbearing, paranoid, and manipulative. I have to give him updates on who I'm with, where I am, when I won't be able to be immediately in touch with (even for small things, like taking showers). If I don't pick up his calls the 1st time, he thinks something bad happened to me (generally not bad), but he'd get very angry with me. He's not cool with me having male friends and generally very wary of people's intentions, (A girl friend wanted to invite her male friend to come with us to hang out, but he felt like the girl friend was trying to set me up with the guy friend. For things like this, he'd tell me to not go, or else he'd be upset) so I don't go out much. There are many other examples, but I can go on for ever. I know this is partly my fault for letting this behavior continue, but I hate getting him mad at me.
How am I suppose to approach this? What should I say to him? I know he'll try to dissect any arguments I make and try to pull me back in with his kind words... how do people find the courage or strength to do this? He's 24, I'm 20 and we've been together for about 3 years.
Most Helpful Girl
Ok, first of all I want to ask you this, Do you think breaking up with him is the right thing to do? You've been with that guy for a very long time and he obviously loves you but in a strange way that you don't like. Why not talk to him about everything that you don't like about him? Tell him the things that he does that you don't like. Maybe the two of you could work it out. I know it's hard to break up with the guy you've been with for three years. I, myself have been in a situation like this. I was with a guy for five years and I broke up with him because he took me for granted. To tell you honestly, it's the hardest thing to do because I loved him so much. I know I did the right thing but sometimes I wish I hadn't broke up with him. I just want to tell you to think about this many times. Don't just think about the bad things he did, try to think about the good things also. The guy loves you. I hope you can see and feel that. Try to communicate with him. Maybe the both of you just need time to think things over and maybe you just need to be a lot more open to each other. Don't be afraid to tell him what you don't like about him. Just be honest and if things don't go well then maybe that's time you should say goodbye. Trust me it's not easy but if you think that you really have to then Do it.0