My boyfriend completely disrespects me, found out again he signed up for a dating site just 5 weeks ago. It's been 3 1/3 years together?

We've know each other for 19 years, so after a mentally and physically abusive relationship I moved home and him and I started dating. He was always someone back then I could talk to. Told him about past experiences and how much I disliked dating sites and how disrespectful it is, so what do I find out a year later, he's signed up for everyone, not only that, but recently the ones I had told him about. Had a fit! He said he just wants to see pictures. Did I mention he was 38 at the time, still living with mommy and daddy too. So after talking it out I stayed , that September I was suspicious , did some snooping and found out his "face shot" was exactly what I thought. He had emailed an escort. She wanted pics, he sent them and asked her for pics. I emailed her, they never got together but she told me basically not to trust him. So I left him, a week later we were back together and he has worn up and down he doesn't anymore. I would check once and awhile, didn't find any signs so made me feel better. Now he's been funny again, we we're suppose to have moved in together last yr, instead he bought a truck. I was hurt. Then I have been talking about moving forward, or the need to move on. He keeps saying we will but it takes time and money and bla bla bla. So I snooped tonight and found he joined a dating site the week before my bday. 5 weeks ago! I changed it to he was looking for men, then sent him an email as he's lying in bed next to me. Told him what a disrespectful piece of s*** he is and he can take all the talk of a house, kids, and getting married and shove them where the sun doesn't shine. I feel like being a reAl bitch and taking our bag of naughty and dumping it out in the parking lot of his family business , that would be extremely childish of me. Or putting u a sign that he likes it in the ass. How do I tell my 4 yr old son that the only male figure in his life is a piece of shit. So hurt , and so angry.


Most Helpful Girl

  • The Only thing you tell your innocent little four year old is, "I'm sorry, honey, but daddy/Joe is not with us anymore. He had to go away, and from now on, isn't able to be with us." As he gets older, with any luck, he will have completely forgot about him, or perhaps later learned all about the kind of "male figure" that was in both your lives. It's not necessary to do it now.
    Next, go to court and get a restraining order against this loser. This will not only keep him away from You and your son, but at the same time-----keep this filthy douche bag from continuing to dump his own "naughty" on You, and to stay the hell in his own parking lot, whether it is at home or in------his family business.
    This schmuck is a two-timer and an all time waste of your time and precious space, sweetie. He's never going to change, and in fact, I bet my bottom buck with this type, will only get worse. I don't know How you could have found the "no bitchy" nice spot in your harnessed, harassed heart to even take him back all those times. Perhaps for your boy's sake.
    You Do Need to "move forward," in fact run like hell while you're at it. And don't ever look back. At this point in time, I would rather be dirt poor and homeless, living in a cardboard box, than to be Ever again in this Lifetime, in the presence of some "disrespectful piece of slime" such as That one.
    Good luck, and start mapping out your life tomorrow. xx


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What Guys Said 1

  • My mom did this before my parents divorced. Found a new boyfriend online. I remember being very angry at her and feeling deserted since she moved away with her new boyfriend.

    Looking back now I don't totally blame her. My dad was not the nicest man I ever knew and he hit my mother many times yelled at her and made her feel like a shit the whole time. And when she left my dad really started to hurt me more now than when I was small and would keep hitting me and threatening to kick me out on the street with my sister. Not that I was the best child either I'm sure but there was a lot of anger in my family that still lingers today. But my mother couldn't do anything, she was an enfeebled Chinese woman fresh off the boat with my dad, essentially, who was hardwired to follow the norms of Chinese culture where it is very male dominated, you're expected to bow to the head of the house (and beat your children, but that's something else). So it was very weird for me growing up and experiencing broken worlds. I'm 19 now and much better now than the past 7 years, because I know that there are no take backs in life and what you're given is what you got, and you've got to strive to make something of what you got.

    When I hear your story, I can't help but think of your 4 year old. I felt a deep emotion connection so I thought I might offer this anecdotal advice, not so confident in its effectiveness...
    I don't have much to offer you in terms of relationship advice, except to be strong, be calm, be patient and do not be silent. There is too much at stake here to be silent.


What Girls Said 3

  • Sounds like a jerk. Dump him. You can talk to him, and see what he has to say for himself. You can trash his reputation... Closure or whatever, but in the end, walking away sounds best. For both you and your son.

  • I am not going to even read your in text info... reading the headline... break up with him. IT DOES NOT MATTER if you have kids! Save your sanity!

  • Dumb his ass. You deserve better.


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