You caught your significant other cheating. Immediate reaction?

Say for instance that you walked in on them doing it with someone else.
Or you saw a text or heard a voice-mail that gave it away.
What would be your immediate reaction?

Would you start screaming at them and throwing things and just become destructive?
Or would you turn on your heel and walk out the door and never answer any text/calls from you "ex" ever again?

If this has actually happened to you, how did you react in the past? Would you react differently were it to happen again? If so, describe.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd want a confrontation to talk to him - let him know, get his side, probably verbally bash him a bit. I would want to get it all out so I can be rid of the baggage.

    It would be cool to have some sort of payback though. Like exposing his infidelity so people see what sort of guy he is. Guys like that probably value themselves or their ego more than anything else, so a hit in their reputation would probably be more damaging than drama.

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What Guys Said 9

  • I wouldn't lose it, but they would know that I know, and then I would look to get out of that situation because the more I see, the more pissed off I get. Dated a girl last year and we broke up, even though we still cared very deeply about each other. A few weeks later, we were together with some friends, and she was holding hands with other guys, arms around them, etc. Not cheating, but the dirty looks were coming from me, and I very much wanted to leave as soon as I could.

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  • My immediate reaction would probably be a little bit of both. Although, knowing myself, I would most likely confront them about it so they know that they got caught, and then I would walk away and self destruct in private.

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  • i would just stand there and try to think rationally what i should do next.

    don't wanna let my emotions cloud my judgment.

    and i'd probably say "why are you 2 doing this?". it'll go on from there, although i doubt a person who likes me enough to call it love and for me to recognize it would ever cheat on me.

    that's probably what a lot of people think, but my standards on things like friendship and love are high.

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  • I would get the hell out of there. I could hit him but... he's doing my girlfriend. He kind of wins at that point. Plus, by showing passion and breaking stuff you just show she's gotten under your skin.

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  • I would tell her that it's over and calmly get my stuff out of her place or get her stuff out of mine.

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  • I'd be angry, but I'd walk away and end things.

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  • lots of yelling, violence and destroying

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  • You can never know until in actually happens and you're there but... I'd probably turn around, leave and never talk to her again.

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  • Immediate reaction - ah shit, why didn't you just tell me? I'm not possessive, I don't demand monogamy, just that you don't lie to me about it... Ah well.

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What Girls Said 14

  • You caught your significant other cheating. Immediate reaction?
    Depends on where I caught them it just states walked in:
    - If this place is his then I'm indifferent
    - If this place is mine as in my bed then I'll tell them they have 5 minutes to get the f*ck out before I shot them on the pretense of breaking and entering which I can thanks to my state's laws. I don't enjoy someone leaving their sex sh*t in my room and where I sleep.

    Would you start screaming at them and throwing things and just become destructive?
    Egh no as I'm generally only physically violent/destructive when actual/attempts of physical violence has been made towards me.

    Or would you turn on your heel and walk out the door and never answer any text/calls from you "ex" ever again?
    Not if he amused or entertained me as I see infidelity as something to be expected out of most heterosexual males. I don't see most guys going around touting how awesome it is to only f*ck one gal for a long period of time or have most male advice geared to achieving such so yeah to me it's a non issue for a guy to cheat as I just see it as what they do.

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    • So you're one of those who believes in having an open relationship?

    • Show All
    • Because it's not normal to not care.

    • @Asker
      While it may not be 'normal' not to care if a partner cheats that doesn't reasonably equate to your conclusion of being anti-social. That's quite some faulty logical leaping in my opinion.

  • this has happened to me. someone kept blowing up my bf at the times phone. he was being weird and would not look at them while I was next to him.. or would tilt the phone so I couldn't see it... as I was laying on his shoulder and we were cuddling in the back seat on a road trip. I wondered why... he got in the shower.. and still phone was blowing up! I glanced at the phone and it showed a text at the top of the screen "hey babe are we meeting still"... I then looked at the messages. It was clear there was something going on... and in one... there was a picture of his ex. yep... his ex... he was cheating on me with her... he even went far to save it to his phone. haha this happened a total of 3 times when I was with him. One with his ex, one with his best friends sister, and one with some random whore that liked breaking people up. all three times I just went to the shower... started crying hysterically and let him talk himself out of it and promise it wouldn't happen again... what an idiot I was... Sadly, it didn't make me stronger as it should have.. At least not with him.

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  • Completely shocked and disgusted, I would quickly get out of there without saying a word (at that point, he wouldn't even be worth making any kind of scene over).

    I'd ignore his texts/calls, at least for the first few days following the incident. I could see myself eventually hearing him out if I really liked the guy, but I wouldn't forgive (or get back together with) him immediately -- he'd have to really work to gain my trust back.

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    • this is what I would say I would do.. and what I should have done.. but was never strong enough to do it.

  • I would break up with them and let them know why, id want to later have a final conversation so we could talk about why he did what he did but my mind would be made up. That relationship would be over.

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  • "We're done." And I won't change my mind. I'd give him a chance to explain until his lips fall off, but I still won't forgive him.

    I get really calm when I'm really mad. When I get past being pissed off and just feel pure rage and hate, I get numb and can appear calm. An hour later, that's when the revenge plotting and burning things happen.

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  • B. I'm gone, no discussion or "explanation" needed. We both know the boundaries and have always been straight with each other so that kind of deception and betrayal is completely unforgivable. And I'd expect the same reaction from him if it were me cheating

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  • I would yell at the top of my lungs,
    then I would turn towards the door to leave.

    It's enough knowing that your partner cheated...
    It's another actually catching them doing it.
    (Even worse if it's happening in your home, and in your bed).

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  • Immediate Reaction: I can see you are not happy in this relationship, and you have opted to show me , as apposed to discussing it with me. I think it is was exceedingly disrespectful, but very clear.

    You are a coward. I am leaving..

    Good Bye.

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  • I have. I confronted him about it and he denied it at first and then fessed up. I didn't scream or throw anything but I kicked his ass out in the middle of the night. It was an appropriate response.

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  • Take a picture of them then ipload it on Facebook !

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  • I think I would just walk away and let him reminisce in sadness on the great thing he had going until he ruined with his stupid selfish actions.

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  • I would just stand their until I was noticed. I'd kick him out and then watch The Notebook.

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  • I would be mad as f***. I don't tolerate cheating at all. I've seen it all around me growing up in my parents, aunt/uncle, and grandma's marriages. So no i wouldn't throw things since I'm not really a violent person. But I would tell him its over, to get the hell out, take anything he ever gave me, forget I exist and never ever in his life try and contact me again. That would be the end. No bs excuses, no explanation, nothing. Just get the f*** out.

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  • I'd probably be stunned to silence. Then there'd be tears. Then yelling. Then leaving and ignoring his attempts to contact me and then if I decided I were composed enough to talk about this like an adult, I'd crack and end up screaming and crying and altogether making him feel like a horrible rotten miserable excuse for a human being and I'd ask him never to contact me again. And then comes the ice cream, chick flicks, more tears, and excessive amount of time spent in the gym. But no rebounds. I don't do rebounds.

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