Emotional roller-coaster! I'm saturated.

Its 2am in the night and its been 2 months since we spoke. This time I'm hell bent on being as stubborn as he is to not break the ice!
A Little Recap: We knew each other for four years, been the best-est friends & confessed our love to each other at the last year of college. Though we were from different cultural backgrounds, we decided we would give love a chance. It was an on-off relationship from the start. But after a year, I fell in love all the more with him and tried patching up with him everytime we broke up. I guess I was more into this relation than him. But just last May, he called and told me that didn't love me anymore and doesn't see a future with me while just the prev day we met and he was all romantic. He told me that his parents wouldn't approve of us. He cut the call immediately as he didn't want to hear my opinion on it. I was left rooted to the spot and speechless for long. I had started placing all my trust and faith in him and suddenly i was left hanging. I went into depression for sometime and had a panic attack 2 months later due to the depression. While recuperating, I called him for some mental support and he cuts the call saying he would call back.. he never did! This was the guy I loved with all my heart.2 more months later I called to tel him I forgave him for all the hurt he has caused. Fast forward 6 months and we have started texting each other. I am being extremely cautious with him now that I have realised I have a soft spot for him & that probably he will never love me like I love him. He is off late trying to start a casual relation with me and I'm not for it. He flirts with me one day and the next he acts like nothing happened. I am not in the position to get my heart all broken up again. Please help me not to harden up. I feel like I'm shutting myself. I need to find love once more.. with the right person who appreciates my worth. Any suggestions on dealing with this situation?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • In my humble opinion? Shut him out. Delete his number. Erase his email. If he is willing enough to tell you multiple times that it won't work out in the long run anyways, why should you keep breaking your heart to pursue him? He says his parents won't approve? If he was truly in love with you unconditionally he would have added 'but i don't care." If he really respected you he wouldn't hang up on you.

    How many YEARS have you given to him? Is the measure of this one man really worth all of this heartbreak? Normally I am a hopeless romantic and I would say don't let social boundary's get in your way, but it sounds to me like it's just the two of you. Sometimes people are meant to come into your life, and you are meant to love them, but you aren't meant to be with them. You need to evaluate whether your relationship is one of these circumstances.

    In the meantime, give yourself some time. I'm not saying to harden up to love: I'm saying to harden yourself to him because he clearly sounds toxic. And while hardening yourself to him, open your heart to others, strangers, friends, family. There are literally so many people out there, and each and every person on this earth deserves someone who needs them. Find another go to person, so you don't feel the need to call him when you are feeling down. Where is your best friend through this? Tell her/him what your situation is and ask for help. If you are feeling down, call them, get out of the house. Indulge in activities you're passionate about, pursue your career. Eventually once you have stepped into your own, another man will see you for who you are, and realize that you are the person he needs.

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    • Thank you.. I shall save your reply and read it often! I have felt the need to shut him out, its just that the execution causes pain!
      Nevertheless, he was my best friend n I have been foolish enough to shut out the rest of my gang to give him undivided attention!!

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What Guys Said 1

  • I agree with LilyTaylor. You've given him way too much time, way too much effort, and way too much love.

    I went through a pretty similar situation right after I graduated from college. In fact, it ended three years ago around this time. I was so devastated and broken, I didn't know if I would every recover from it.

    It was a long and difficult process, but I came back. The first thing you need to do is cut him off. Don't allow him any channels of communication with you. Block his phone number, his Facebook , anything that he can use to talk to you.

    Then you need to let the dust settle. Allow yourself some time to hurt, and then start looking up. Listen to some empowering music. When you're finally ready to move on, write everything out and then dispose of it in a symbolic way.

    I wrote an article back in 2012 about this exact subject. Here it is...www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a5618-recovering-from-a-bad-relationship

    Again, it won't be quick or easy, but eventually, you'll be ready.

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    • Thanks BCRanger! I so wish people come with an antenna that would transmit exactly how they feel from inside! I need to stop feeling guilty and make amends everytime he throws an attitude!! I think it's time I value myself and my feelings. I feel so used!!

What Girls Said 1

  • Give it time and cut him out of your life

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