How to move on? cliché I know but please tell me what helped you.?

Hey, so I was dating this girl that was perfect for me, beautiful, loving, funny, plenty of stuff in common, etc. We were together for 2 and a half years, she was my first girlfriend, first love, first experience with intimacy, and I thought we'd be together forever, we were talking marriage and future plans as soon as I could find a job to support us together. A few months ago things started to change, slowly at first but dramatically at the end, she didn't have time for me, was busy with her friends, had to cancel our time together and didn't make time for us. I brought up how I was feeling and she said she'd try harder but I'm always being demanding, I figured that because we were talking about the future that going out together wasn't too much to expect from her. Things got progressively worse and we broke up last week, me feeling neglected and replaced by her girl friendships and her feeling like I was demanding too much from her.

All that's to say I loved this girl with all my heart and I tried to be the best boyfriend I could possibly be, flowers, chocolates, specials things out of the blue. Now that things are over between us, and it's been made clear that it's over, how do I move on? Things remind me of us and plans we talked about and I need to figure out how to deal with the breakup emotions and put them away to keep searching for what I'm looking for, a relationship that will last the test of time. Thoughts? and just so you know, you're time and suggestions mean a lot to me, so thank you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First one is always really hard. It sounds like she moved on in her mind a while ago. The going out with friends and not making time for you was basically a massive indicator to say I'm going to be breaking up with you in a couple of months. It is going to be really hard, but trust me you will eventually move on.
    Now;
    1. Do NOT get into another relationship before you have moved, just because you need love.
    2. You were and are a person with interests before you were with her, so list what those are.
    3. List all things you liked about her and all the things that really annoyed you.
    4. Cry about, don't hold your feelings in, when you feel bad let it out.
    5. List all things you have wanted to do with your life and start doing them. You have no one to hold you back.
    Time will heal you. Not for a while but you will get better, it is a slow process.

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    • Thank you for your feedback, it helps me a lot. I'll be focusing on your suggestions, so know I appreciate it a lot.

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What Girls Said 3

  • 1) get laid
    2) telling your ex you still love her (helps you heal)/talking to her
    3) time

    Chances are you are putting her on a pedestal and sh'e not who you think. AKA fantasy girl.

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  • Distract yourself. Hang out with friends, find hobbies, concentrate on school/work. Do your best to move on and eventually it'll get easier.

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    • The old "time heals all wounds" truth, not the most awesome thing in the world but it's true. I have a hard time being patient with myself and emotions so hearing the "eventually" part is something I need, so thank you.

    • I'm like that as well. I want to skip the time and struggle and get to the good stuff. Unfortunately, you gotta do it lol.

  • You should meet another girl, as cliché as THAT sounds. It's the only way though. Get back up on the horse and you'll start to feel better :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • When I broke up with my ex I got rid of everything I could that reminded me of her. Anything I could burn I burned and the rest I threw away.

    Erase text, emails and anything else like that.

    Find anything to occupy your mind that isn't her and take sometime for yourself before you get in another relationship.

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