Engaged Ex texts frequently, won't let go, wants to meet, what to do?

My ex and I dated for five years, broke up and remained close friends and in regular and frequent contact. Our relationship was great but suffered from bad timing because of life stage differences. Marriage was also an issue:when she was ready to get married I wasn’t, and by the time I was she was no longer interested I’ve never fully gotten over her and I suspect that she has not completely gotten over me, though I could be wrong. 15 months ago, she told me that her boyfriend was moving in with her and that they had intentions of getting married someday. I was upset by the news. I decided to not initiate contact with her at that point. However, I’ve been unable to completely ignore her calls and texts. But if ever there was a time to really move on, this was it. A few weeks later, she calls a few times asking to go to brunch or dinner. I couldn’t because of work. Then, I didn’t hear from her for two months. I assumed that this was because he had finally moved to town and into her place. Then, since March of last year she began texting monthly. She’d ask how I was doing and also include information on concerts in town and about books I should read and such. She once texted to say that I looked dashing in a photo that someone posted on Facebook . Once, she called while on a business trip and told me that she was thinking about me because she had been to a classic car museum and remembered how l liked classic cars. In Dec of last year, she texted and called to ask if we could meet for coffee, dinner or brunch. After some phone tag, she texted in mid-January to say that she wanted to meet to catch up and that she had a Christmas present for me. Ten days ago, I heard through the grapevine that she is engaged. I take it that she wants to meet to let me know. One of the things that I want to ask is what the Christmas present is for. I also wonder if I should let her know that I still have deep feelings for her. If she’s really moved on, why all the contact? What to do?


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What Girls Said 2

  • I think she still has feelings from the past for you, and her ghosts are coming back to haunt You, sweetie.
    However, this is what is wrong with this far from perfect picture, to sum it all up. She's had this other guy, who Now she is conveniently engaged to, and wants to try and hog tie and rope you back into her life, and once that has happened, most likely dump the groom in the sow pen. Sure, you could both take up house and Presume to live happily ever after. Problem is, you can Never quite trust what she might do next and---with Whom.
    If you want to truly get on with your life and---get Over her---delete her from your life, and from your phone. Block her if you have to. And for goodness sakes, don't meet up with her. First glance, first chance, it will be all over, and not only will there be Holy Matrimony in her life, but Yours will be then a living hell until death do you Both part. xx

  • Delete her. Don't give her any attention


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