My fiance (I don't even know what page we're on at the moment) is currently 12 hours away from me and made out with his best friend, who is also engaged. He told me he made out with her because I wasn't there, he needs the physicality, and that furthermore, I caused him guilt when he got my Valentine's package in the mail the day after. It hurts because we haven't talked in a bit... he called it off with his best friend, last time we talked he was drinking, and sounding like he was regressing to old habits... I want to focus on what needs to be done here (graduate in May) so that I can get down there and be with him, or so Plan A said. I also meant hold out as in not do stuff with anyone else; I figured just because he cracked and did shit with her, it didn't give me a validation to do the same, that I can still hold out my end of the deal regardless of if he did. Well, unfortunately, I compromised that as well, because my friend that I ended up doing shenanigans with talked me into how it wasn't fair of him to do what he did and wasn't fair of me to put a higher standard on myself.
Ladies, gents... your thoughts? As a woman am I being a pussy? If more details are needed I can update.
Most Helpful Girl
He is NOT marriage material if 12 hours of distance can cause him to forget everything that you two stand for. Absolutely inappropriate, immature and unacceptable. He should not be surrounding himself with people like his friend, or anyone that does not respect your relationship and therefore him as well. If a "late" gift causes him to think about you and your guy's potential marriage differently than that is something you should be cautious of. That is obscenely materialistic and shallow. It is an item, you would be forever.
Secondly, i know you don't want to hear this, but you need to hear this. You are no better than him. I agree he is acting like a d-bag and may deserve it but retaliation is a childish thing to do. Grow up, be a woman, pick yourself up and move on. Getting on his level is LETTING HIM WIN. You can't be mad at him because you are doing the same things regardless of who did it first. You shouldn't be talking to men that could pose a potential threat to your relationship.
You both sound like you are the farthest thing from being ready to get married, sounds like you guys can't even keep the promise to each other to not be with anyone else OR communicate effectively and honestly at all, let alone commit yourselves to each other indefinitely.
Please wait for marriage and break it off with each other. Doesn't sound like this is leading anywhere positive and if anything you both will end up getting yourselves more hurt. Give yourselves time to mature and get the "shenanigans" out of your system before taking such a permanent step with someone else.7