Is it time to move on from this relationship?

I started casually dating a friend who I knew was a player (yeah...), and over the past 5 months have had a wonderful time. I put faith in our relationship and never questioned him, and he never gave me reason to. I met his family and friends and kids. We would spend at least 3-4 nights together and talked daily.

10 days ago he went out and texted me that he was heading home, but the next day I found out he actually didn't get home until a couple of hours later. Then after some suspicion and confronting him, I found out that another woman drove him home because he was so drunk, and that she slept in his bed. He said it was innocent and that nothing happened, but I said if it was so innocent, then why not tell me? He said he wanted to talk about it more, but I left... and didn't hear from him for a week. It was the hardest week ever and I cried daily, wondering why I didn't hear from him, even just a "thinking about you" text. Then he emailed me telling me it's been excruciating and so hard not to contact me all week and that he missed me lots, but that he wanted to give me space (I told him I was swamped at work that week before we stopped talking), and are we still cool? He also said that he was "really sorry for withholding info you clearly felt I should have shared." I replied via email that I didn't know what to do or what to say, but I didn't know if I could continue our relationship, but that I would rather talk in person bec I didn't think email or text would be appropriate. He said I guess we can schedule a time to talk and I said Okay, we can check our schedules. It's now been 3 days.

Part of me knows I should probably wash my hands of this, but the other part wants to hear him out--if he has anything to say, that is. Am I supposed to be contacting him? Or is it time to move on? They say that if a guy really wants to talk to a girl, they'll just do it. His silence and inaction seems like I should take that as my answer...
Thanks all. I did reach out via text, & had a short phone call after. Heard "I miss you" etc. I said I'd like to talk in person (for my sanity-tones can be misread); it was confirmed we'd do that. Then... nothing. So I'm washing my hands of it & him.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know if you and your "casual friend" are exclusive, or maybe friends with benefits, and Anyone Else is "hands off the merchandise" deal? But by the looks of trouble in paradise here, you both had Some kind of partner pact, so let's go on from there.
    I'm feeling your pain, and the sudden mistrust, after everything you both have shared. But no matter what relationship it is, there is always a snag, a Big teat that Fate seems to throw in. It's up to us how to handle it.
    I know part of you Thinks it best to just throw in the towel and wash your hands of him. And there's this Other part of you, who Knows the man you have been with for 5 months, remembers all the good times, and feels so much for, that Wants to hear what he has to say, and perhaps---give him another Trial Try.
    You say it has been 3 days since you last spoke to him? That you both were supposed to check your schedules and slate in a time that was convenient? Perhaps he is waiting for You to get back to him on what is good for you. Also, he could be giving you this opportunity to cool down, collect your thoughts, and hopes you will give him an answer as to give him the floor and a----chance to make things right with you.
    Give him a shout, Not a Shouting match sort of call, and see what you both can come up with. Yes, he certainly was wrong in what he did, but everyone deserves a chance to explain himself, and at the same time, a second chance to prove himself as well---and a man, in this case.
    Good luck. xx


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • If you think that 'nothing happened', then I have some prime real estate to sell you. I think you know the answer to this. It's time to move on.


What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should move on.
    The fact that he said it was 'info YOU' clearly thought he should have shared means he dosn't see anything wrong with that.
    A female should not be sleeping in his bed, dead drunk or not. He can cab, he can call you he dosn't need to be taking other girls home drunk.
    Honestly, please move on. please move on and don't look back. I say this from experience. I have spent the last couple of years dating a player and my mind is going crazy. Even if you do have feelings for him there will be no trust at the foundation of the relationship.
    If you decide to continue to see him, keep in mind that you are whats important at all times.


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