What is going on in my ex's head?

My ex and I dated for 2 months (we also work together), he dumped me but we remained pretty good friends. 3 weeks later he sprung a new girlfriend on me at a friends birthday drinks, he didn't speak to me this whole night and I left early. After not speaking/avoiding him for a few days (in which he texted me once, and called me late one night, probably after drinking, none of which I answered) we started talking again. We text almost daily, when we hang out I still sleep in his bed and he still sleeps in mine if we hang out late at night. I still have lingering feelings for him and I know this but I'd rather be his friend than not have him in my life at all. This is weird right? What is going on in his head?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you want to be friends, don't sleep with him. You're basically showing him that it's OK to leave and date other women because you'll be waiting to take him back when it's convenient for him. He's not into you, and he went through the motions to get laid. Too many people these days will use the label of BF/GF so that they can sex without feeling bad for it. Or he doesn't know what he wants and is not willing to commit and left you because he felt trapped. Maybe he's not over a serious ex and he's serial dating to try and replace her. Either way, this guy has issues, and you won't get anything real from him.

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    • When I say sleep in the same bed I mean actually sleep, no sex involved. I think you might be right about him not being over a serious ex though.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Is he cheating on the new GF? That's all you need to know right there.

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    • I think you might be right, I would not be ok with it, and I know he would not be ok with his GF sleeping in the same bed as a male friend. I can't ask his GF about it because I never got an introduction and he keeps her separate from me/his work friends.
      It's just weird because at his suggestion he came over Wed night, then Thursday after work, called Friday night to ask if I would come round and Sat night we are having work drinks at his place and he said I could stay over then and Sunday.

What Girls Said 1

  • Only he knows how he feels so you should openly talk to him about it. Ask him exactly what's going on and what he's thinking. You should also make it clear what you want so there is not confusion. If he still has this girlfriend I suggest you let him know your true feelings and then give him space to do what he's going to do. Don't be someone's #2 for any reason. Also if he's still in this relationship that's not fair to you.
    You need to give yourself a break from him so you can move on yourself. You can't move on with him in your bed.

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