I can't get over, don't know how or what to do?

Up until recently I've never even kissed a girl, and then I met the girl who I was dating, and it only lasted a month until now and now things are complicated, but she was basically my first everything, kiss, second date, virginity, etc. But now she's not sure if she's ready for a relationship and things are really up in the air, but I can't stop thinking about her and it hurts. In the past when girls rejected me I was usually able to focus on the negative things about them, but with her I'm really struggling, it felt like we were in a honeymoon phase and I just can't think of negative things as hard as I try, all I have is good times to remember. I try and focus on other things, but that only helps temporarily and my mind goes right back to it. Maybe I'm just naive because was my first, I just don't know how to get over her? I'm not really that interested in hookups and I've struggled so much with girls in the past, I just can't get over losing her after how well we connected with each other, or so it felt. I'm just wondering what others have done, or if any have felt the same?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Is she fearful of intimacy/commitment or is she just trying to ease the blow of rejection? That's the part you have to figure out. You may need to be direct with her about your feelings.

    If it's fear of commitment, try to address her fear. Have some patience.
    If she's simply rejecting you, let her go. It will be difficult (if not impossible) for you two to remain friends. Don't contact her, delete her (or at least unfollow her) on Facebook , etc. I'm sure it hurts like HELL right now, but you will only extend the pain by keeping her in your life. You will heal with time, I promise.

    Believe me, I've felt the same. We were just about in the "honeymoon phase" when my first love broke my heart and pushed me away. Refusing to let me go completely, he regularly crawled back into my life periodically only to offer me crumbs of affection. He destroyed my emotional life for over a year. Don't let this happen to you.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Well she hasn't officially ended it, so the first thing you should do is tell her how you're feeling. She may be hesitant because she isn't sure what you're thinking. Secondly if things do end, it happens and there's no avoiding being sad. People deal in different ways, but mostly just focus on yourself, get a hobby, throw yourself into school/work, whatever. Then when you meet the girl who's ready to commit with you, you'll have even more to offer her.

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    • I let her know that I like her, and I'd be willing to try and work things out and go more slowly, she was kind of distracted during our conversation it felt, so I'm not sure what to think. She specifically said she would text me, but two days later and she still hasn't? I just don't get why she would want to see me and say she missed me if she wasn't interested anymore?

    • It sounds like she's stringing you along. Stop talking to her completely and move on. You may get a text from her a few weeks or months down the line, and it's your call what to do then, but for now I would suggest moving on.

  • If someone really had strong feelings for you , like you have for her , then they would have never let you go to begin with. Especially girls. Most girls are so sensitive and never want to lose a guy they have real deep feelings for.

    I understand that this girl meant a lot to you. And you're right , it may have to do with the fact that she was your first everything. Guys can get attached too. Not just girls. I know , because I still have feelings for my ex from 3 years ago but we are still really good friends.

    But as for your situation , it may take a long time to get over her but you deserve to be happy and find someone that will love you so deeply that they will never want to let you go. If she can let you go , just like THAT , then she wasn't the one for you and you'll eventually find love.

    Everyone is always trying to find love at such a young age , I'm the same way. I want love. I want to love , be loved , and make love. But it's more important to wait for the right one instead of messing it up with all the wrong ones. You'll find that girl and realize why it never worked out with this girl. Just be patient.

    ***Little_foot <3

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