Why does it bother me to see him with another girl?

i broke up with my ex boyfriend last year. he was my best friend but i began to have urges to get with other guys... i wasn't attracted to him anymore and i just didn't feel that romantic connection anymore... i broke his heart and i still feel so guilty about it. i have a new boyfriend now who i love and who loves me... so why does it still kill me to see pictures of my ex with his new girlfriend? i feel like I've been replaced and its just weird... even though im the one who didn't have feelings for him anymore. its like i was the girl he was supposed to love forever... I don't know


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  • As humans, we have a tendency to "always want what we can't have" You see your ex happy, without you. And you're allowed to let that upset you. However, you need to flip the tables around. How do you think your ex sees you? You are letting the guilt of the breakup make you feel like somehow, you pushed him to a new girl. But, thats not the case. You need to re-read what you wrote at the beginning of your question, about how you weren't attracted to him anymore and wanted to be with other guys. Thats the whole point of dating, to find people that we like, and essentially ones that we don't. You are allowed to feel strange feeling that your ex now is sharing something new with a new girl, but don't allow it to over come you. Because you yourself are now with someone new who offers new things and brings new aspects to the table. If it is really bothering you, dont creep his photos! Allow yourself to live your life without knowing all about his. If it continues, maybe think about if you are in the right state of mind to be dating anyone in general if your emotions are still so strong. But remember, you are human, and you are allowed to feel the emotions you feel!

    • thank you very much for the thought out response it really helps. i feel like it also bothers be more because he was my first boyfriend, first love, and i lost my virginity to him so i still feel a connection to him... and he tried so hard to get me back... but anyway i know i would be unhappy if i was still with him and should be happy he finally found someone who makes him happy.

    • To be honest, to this day it still bothers me a little bit when I see my ex with new girls, and we're friends now! He was the same for me, first for everything. You will never forget him, nor should you! But I promise you will look back on the situation and be grateful that you two had that connection and you felt that way. Sometimes it truly just takes a fair bit of time!

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