Why am I suddenly thinking about my ex again, whenever I have a new, caring guy?

My (ex) boyfriend broke up with me 5 months ago. I took it hard and missed him a lot. We've stayed friends, although we haven't spoken in months. I recently met someone new (unexpectedly) and after a month of dating, we made it official a few days ago. Ever since we made it official, I have been having thoughts and dreams about my ex again.

I recognize that I am still in love with my ex, but I am attracted to my new boyfriend a lot. I have come to the conclusion that sitting around and waiting won't bring my ex back, even though I love him. In a way, I don't understand why I am so attracted to my ex, especially since he has shown no signs of fighting for me back and since my new boyfriend and I fit together so natural.

Is this normal? Why am I having sudden thoughts about my ex boyfriend? I will say that I sometimes have a bad habit of dwelling on past loves and then not realizing how much I like/love the current one until he is gone.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wish I could tell you why that happens. I'm going through a similar thing; I'm super happy with my boy-friend right now and there's really nothing he could do better, yet at the same time I'm also sort of sad as a lot of things we do or feelings I get with him make me re-live what I went through with the ex.

    It's definitely normal. Probably why those thoughts happen is because you are currently going through things that your mind has associated with whomever last made you feel like that. Likely it's just a trick bring played by your memories haha.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Are you having sex with your new boyfriend? That matters ;)

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    • Not yet, but it's a possibility in the future.

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    • When you say "guy friend", are you referring to my ex? Or someone completely different?

    • Because you and your new boyfriend have not had sex from the start , he is your guy friend now. He has not filled the position of your ex as a intimate lover = friend zoned

What Girls Said 1

  • You answered your own question: you're still in love with your ex. That's why you think of him still even with the new guys.

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