Moving out and away from ex-boyfriend and my mess of a life?

things were great in the beginning we were having fun with no cares in the world. we would drink and smoke together and hang out with friends, life was too good. i was having problems with my female roommate and wanted out. he was having problems with his landlord so he decided we should live together months ago. this month I made it happen and we moved in together. about a week ago. we got into a huge fight about 2 days ago, when i went through his phone and saw he liked a girls picture on instagram he had a past with. i never trusted him from the beginning because he had a female best friend. for some reason i could never get around it or over it and it always bothered me. he would stop talking to her for periods of time then just end up going back to her. after seeing him like that girls picture on instagram that was the last straw i had with him. i could never trust him and felt he was lying. he would always tell me he love me and wanted to be around me 24/7 couldn't be away from me. i would always try to push him away and break up with him to get space to see if he would give me some, any and he never would. then i stopped drinking and smoking and going out. he would guilt trip me and complain about us spending money going out so i stopped. he started working 2 jobs at 16 hours a day months before we moved in and has been completely stressed out since then. i also started seeing a pyschiatrist to get help i needed because without the drinking or smoking I was feeling really depressed and very very anxious. i went through his phone to see what he told our mutual friend and he just explained that he was also depressed and thinks i'm bipolar and is too stressed out to live together. he could never tell me this, just our friend. and now i finally understand how he feels. the only reason i've been sad is because i've been stuck at home, he's always with me and i'm never around my friends anymore.


Most Helpful Girl

  • do you still have trust issue? You guys need to COMMUNICATE and be honest... TRUST is a BIG FACTOR in relationships... u can't have 1 w/o the other... I wish I left when I had all those sign of not trusting and no matter how I tried I wasn't able to... at the end my guy instinct proved true... he had a secret and not trusting him was spot on.


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  • It kind of sounds like this was a major blow-out overreaction.
    It doesn't seem like he's cheating because he liked an ex's photo on instagram or because he's close friends with another girl. It seems like a perfectly normal relationship. Your reaction to the situation does, however, seem really big for the situation.
    Also, the fact that he isn't giving you space is another thing that seems a bit dicey. If he isn't letting you go out because he wants to control you, that's not healthy. That's basic abusive tendencies.
    However, if his only reasons for you not going out is to conserve money (since he's working 16 hours a day and still not earning enough) it makes perfect sense.
    I think that you need to take a step back and observe the situation. It doesn't seem like he's done anything wrong from this scenario that you've given.
    Although it was a gross invasion of privacy for you to go through his phone, maybe he and your mutual friend's discussion was correct. Maybe you are bipolar, or depressed. I advice you going and talking to a doctor to figure this out because although you may not think you are, there's always the chance that you could be. Bipolarism and depression are things that need to be taken seriously. He might just be concerned for your well-fare.


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