Am I an asshole? I'm so much happier now but she isn't.?

So while me and my ex girlfriend together she was always jealous of my best friend (who was a girl) Me an her would always go do stuff together and it made my girlfriend very uneasy. We have been best friends since second grade and now we are sophomores in college. We even made sure to go to the same colleges. So after 2 years with her I figured she's get over it, apparently not. My ex always called her a "slut" or "whore" behind her back and to her face she'd say stuff like "can you even see me"? (My best friend is Asian ). So I broke up with her recently. And after a couple weeks found a spark with my best friend. I went to my annual family picnic (30+ family members) and she's gone since 4th grade. We had to go get a frisbee from a tree and she went up, she fell and I caught her and we kinda looked at each other and kissed. Everyone was tellin is that it's about time and stuff. Lol. But back on track. I can't think of anyone I'd rather be with now. I sometimes forget to call her my girlfriend cause when people ask I say she is my best friend. So we decide to go to Jamba Juice one day where my ex works. I proudly hold my best friends hand into the store since I knew my ex's work hours and she wasn't supposed to be working. I walk in and she see's me. My ex breaks down and cries in the store. When we get our drinks. She throws them at us and starts yelling, and she tries to attack my best friend. She was fired from work. And stopped going to her classes an flunked out of school. Now she's back at home with her parents most likely going to a local junior college, and I heard from mutual friends she's in therapy. Her life basically fell apart after I left her. Is it all my fault? Or what... I feel extremely guilty, but I want to hurry up and move on to this amazing chapter in my life. What do you guys think?

0|0
44

Most Helpful Girl

  • I really doubt her breakdown is all your fault. When people have breakdowns like that, it's often because of various different reasons. Seems like she wasn't all there to begin with, what with being super paranoid/jealous and really rude to your girlfriend. I feel like anyone who overreacts like that over a breakup simply can't be too normal. Yes, breakups can suck and hurt you really badly, but not to this point. That was very unhealthy behavior, so you shouldn't feel bad. You shouldn't have stuck with her just because it would have made her happy. Sometimes you have to be a little selfish in order to move on and "evolve". Breaking up with her was probably a good mood, because if she really does have mental problems, it probably would have affected your relationship a lot more later on.
    I also think that it's kind of normal of you to call your current girlfriend your best friend. She has been your best friend for a much longer time than she has been your girlfriend. It's only natural that it takes some time for you to adjust to these role changes.
    Basically, don't feel bad. Your ex has obviously 0 control over her emotions, and the fact that she let herself flunk out of college just because of the breakup shows lack of character which really has nothing to do with you.

    0|0
    1|0
    • breaking up with her was probably a good move* haha

    • Show All
    • They weren't doing it behind her back though. They probably didn't think about it until he broke up with her. And tbh it doesn't sound like she actually believed in him or trusted him, considering that she would badmouth his best friend in front of her and act generally rude and racist. So in my opinion his ex is the asshole. She kind of had it coming considering that she basically drove him away herself. If she had been a bit more nice, thoughtful and caring, maybe he wouldn't have broken up.

    • The only assholey thing they did was go to the Jamba juice even though they knew she worked there. Doesn't matter what her working hours are, that's her territory basically and they should have been a bit more classy than that... and they should have walked out of there and not even tried to order anything. THAT was a dick move. But otherwise, I don't blame QA for not wanting to be with a racist, badmouthing and rude girl.

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • No she just sounds like a crazy bitch

    0|0
    1|0
  • Before I say anything else, I gotta say this: that little scene at the picnic with you catching her and then kissing was too too cute ^.^

    Anyways, I don't think it's your fault entirely. She does seem like a mean person for criticizing your relationship with your best friend/new girlfriend. There's always going to be that someone who takes longer to forget but it's over now. You should be doing something new and being able to find that happiness with your best friend is awesome. So relax and be happy... but next time don't go somewhere where she might be. Your ex just needs more space away from you and being in her view isn't going to help her get over it.

    0|0
    1|0
  • I think you are being to hard on yourself. I don't think you did anything wrong at all. You realized things were not working with your ex so you ended it. That is better than staying in an unhappy relationship and both of you being miserable. Your ex sounds a little unstable, don't let her get to you. Congrats on finding love with "your best friend". Be happy and move on. Your ex needs to do the same.

    0|0
    1|0

What Guys Said 4

  • No, it is not your fault, in fact you should commend yourself for actually taking time to think about her and what affect you leaving had on her as a lot of guys simply wouldn't in a situation like this.

    Quite frankly just in the first few sentences of what you said before you even broke up with your ex I could tell that there was probably way too much interaction between you and your best friend to not have something, and your ex-girlfriend probably saw it as well. What it sounds like really happened here is that your ex-girlfriend had some strong feelings for you but you already had some strong feelings for your best friend (Even if they hadn't evolved to romantic feelings yet). In the end the only way for you to really be happy here is to be with your best friend which unfortunately means that your ex-girlfriend can't be with you.

    So really it's no ones fault, this is just how things worked out. You and your best friend were meant to be while you and your ex-girlfriend simply weren't. Your ex-girlfriend is just taking the hand life dealt her really hard. To be honest it's her responsibility to pick herself up after things like this and you can't be blamed for her failure to do so. You could help her through this time though I wouldn't recommend it as it may be very painful for her to be around you and you may cause more damage than aid, in which case you need to avoid her completely for a while. The most help to her right now will come from her friends, family, and her personal drive.

    So enjoy your life and make the absolute most out of every day you have with your lover.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Do i completely blame the break down on you? No. Do i think your a dick for bringing your new gf to a place you knew your ex worked in and that there was a chance she could work different hours and be there? Yes

    1|0
    0|0
  • Watch Dennis Leary's "I'm an Asshole" on YouTube.

    No, you're not an asshole dude. You did nothing wrong. It's not your fault she was ape-shit jealous over your friend... maybe she knew instinctively that your friend was a threat but that gave her no reason to treat your friend like crap. I'm sure that treatment pushed you away a little bit too. I mean, who wants a chick that treats your friends like crap?

    It really super sucks what happened to your ex though. Obviously she was a little unstable. Take it as a lesson, avoid ex's. I would have turned around and walked straight out of that Jamba Juice the second I saw her. No, man... don't sweat it. Carry on with your life.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes, you were 2 timing your girl friend = asshole

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...