Been in LDR for 4 years. Last week I went to visit him an he promised he would come to visit me after he is done with the work. 2 days ago i Had a fight with my bf coz I was pissed he didn't contact me for a day an normally he would at least text me. After the fight I text him back asking normal question he replied right away. he was leaving with the ship ( he is a navy) the next day morning but he left with the ship without telling me but I saw him posted on FB. I'm heart broken here coz I ve never requested anything that much from him but still he didn't care at all? Is he tired of me an Trying to move on without telling me?
Most Helpful Guy
Until you know WHY he didn't come and visit you, it is WAY too early to be drawing conclusions about how he's feeling. Maybe something important came up and he ran out of time? Who knows?
But this is why LDRs are so hard: a LDR is almost all communication, because you rarely, sometimes never, get anything else. And when you are apart for so long, it's SO easy for communications to break down, or for the littlest thing to be blown up into a huge issue. Something like 98% of LDRs fail for reasons directly related to the distance/time apart - for almost everyone, a LDR is a mistake. Now, if you are married, and especially if you have kids with him, then, yeah, I understand the sacrifice of a Navy wife. But part of that sacrifice is not putting too much pressure on him or making mountains out of molehills, even if you are desperate to see him or talk to him. If you make him feel too obligated, then instead of looking forward to talking to you, it becomes a chore, and he'll avoid it.
You draw more flies with honey... Instead of complaining or getting upset when he doesn't call or visit, spend your effort telling him how much you missed him and how much you look forward to and appreciate his calls/visits. Make the experience a POSITIVE for him instead of a negative, and chances are, he'll happily make more of an effort for you.0
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