Is he trying to break up with me by disappearing?

Been in LDR for 4 years. Last week I went to visit him an he promised he would come to visit me after he is done with the work. 2 days ago i Had a fight with my bf coz I was pissed he didn't contact me for a day an normally he would at least text me. After the fight I text him back asking normal question he replied right away. he was leaving with the ship ( he is a navy) the next day morning but he left with the ship without telling me but I saw him posted on FB. I'm heart broken here coz I ve never requested anything that much from him but still he didn't care at all? Is he tired of me an Trying to move on without telling me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Until you know WHY he didn't come and visit you, it is WAY too early to be drawing conclusions about how he's feeling. Maybe something important came up and he ran out of time? Who knows?

    But this is why LDRs are so hard: a LDR is almost all communication, because you rarely, sometimes never, get anything else. And when you are apart for so long, it's SO easy for communications to break down, or for the littlest thing to be blown up into a huge issue. Something like 98% of LDRs fail for reasons directly related to the distance/time apart - for almost everyone, a LDR is a mistake. Now, if you are married, and especially if you have kids with him, then, yeah, I understand the sacrifice of a Navy wife. But part of that sacrifice is not putting too much pressure on him or making mountains out of molehills, even if you are desperate to see him or talk to him. If you make him feel too obligated, then instead of looking forward to talking to you, it becomes a chore, and he'll avoid it.

    You draw more flies with honey... Instead of complaining or getting upset when he doesn't call or visit, spend your effort telling him how much you missed him and how much you look forward to and appreciate his calls/visits. Make the experience a POSITIVE for him instead of a negative, and chances are, he'll happily make more of an effort for you.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • It is so hard for me i miss him like crazy an sometimes I need his support an comfort but I don't ask from him that much at all I'm not saying he has to call me every hour or text me every 10 mins but I feel I have missed good things to share with him coz we are aprrt an I try to make it like I wanna share everything with him. I'm really sad coz I love him a lot I tried to break up but I ended up asking him back. I don't kno what to do coz I'm hurt being with or without him

    • Show All
    • We have plan to be together n as well as he ll help me with the family business. N I got Ur point.

    • Words of the wise!

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • You got mad because he didn't contact yu for a day? im just going to say it. Chill the fuck out! Seriously men dont like naggy women, your going to push him away by acting like that. Maybe thats the reason he never said goodbye. Stop being on his case all the time he has a lot on his plate. he's a ldr and thats hard enough by itself but then he has other thigs to deal with like a naggy girlfriend and family, friends and who knows what else. You should be listening to him and helping him get through it instead pf not trying to understand him. You could have texted him that day and ypu could hqve visited him. He has a tpugh job just give him a break. The fact he never saod goodbye could mean a lot of things. Maybe he just wants to stop seeing you, maybe he forgot but very unlikely if he posted on fb or maybe he just didn't want to speak to you at the moment so he just lefted. Write him a letter if you wanna find oout for sure and leave the bitchyness out of it

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  • Maybe its hard for him to say goodbye. acting distance can mean leaving but yet maybe he dont want to say good bye to you

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