Is it okay that I forgave my ex that cheated on me?

I'm a very forgiving person, which I sometimes think about and maybe I shouldn't forgive so much.

I'm not sure if this is even cheating, but when we were together, we had a rough patch, and I found out that she had been talking to a guy. The guy is her mom's coworker and she introduced him to my ex as just friends. But then he asked her mom for her number and so she asked my ex. She was willing to give it. So she did and they were talking for quite a while. Then I found out that they watched a movie together. But with her mom and the mom's boyfriend. She didn't lie who she was with because that day she said she was watching a movie, I asked with who and she said her mom, the bf, and a coworker. Later on did I only find out that it was the guy. It made me upset and angry. I asked her all these questions.. She seemed honest, and she said she did it because she was emotionally unstable. She didn't know what to do. I asked her mom what really happened and she said that she was only invited. It made me so upset. I then asked my ex again.. And she cried because she felt guilty, but she seemed she was telling the truth. She proceeded to stop texting the guy and block him on Instagram. (he would like and comment those emojis on her pics)

So... Was that cheating? Or just slightly. She seems like she really regrets it. Do you think she will ever cheat again?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay there is physical cheating and emotional cheating and honestly your girl could only be emotionally cheating on you if she was forming a close bond with this guy and basically forming a second relationship and that would only happen if she wasn't getting the attention she wanted from you so she started hanging out with the co-worker. He was giving her the attention she had wanted from you. So in my humble estimation you jumped to conclusions, made her feel guilty about it and that's why she regrets it. The girl just happened to make friends with someone who showed some interest in her and your being a bit of a bitch about it

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    • Well if she was faithful and committed, she would've known not to do that right? I mean... I understand that she can make friends, but should they not show interest at all? It should have been automatic that she wasn't supposed to do that.

    • I really wanna comment on that last statement but i can't seem to formulate the words without it feeling vindictive. So i'm going to say this. You have some kinda issue. I don't know if you were cheated on in the past and you are constantly on the look out for persons cheating on you, but this girl as far as im concerned didn't do anything to hurt you deliberately. I kinda agree with @Blume20 that she would have cheated but that is because you're not being the kind of boyfriend that she needs and therefore can't be the kind of girlfriend that you need.

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What Girls Said 14

  • ok. Thats not really cheating. ıt might have lead to cheating had you not intervened. She just needs you to be there for her, and listen and support and care. she didn't get that from you so she formed a bond with someone who she thougt was actually caring about her. You just have to be constant and supportive.

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    • I know, I told her that already and apologized that I may not have been there when she wanted me to. But she knows that I truly care for her. I do more than I do for myself. But thank you though, I made sure to tell her that she didn't cheat and that she shouldn't be so hard on herself.

  • I think it's okay, as long as YOU can trust her and forgive and forget then that's all that matters.

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  • That's your choice

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  • Once a cheater always a cheater

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  • I would forgive but wouldn't forget

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  • Once a cheater always a cheater

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  • With all due respect anon.. What are you, 12?! First off, you're not forgiving at all so clear that up in your head. Second, she felt so controlled and smothered by you that she needs to hide it if she has a friend that's a guy? No. You're in the wrong, not her. Can't you see she's scared of you? How is watching a movie/having a guy friend cheating? Did she physically put her hands on him? No.

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  • It's a form of cheating oppose to physical cheating. But it still hurts. alot.

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  • Why would you forgive someone who cheated on you? Do you really value yourself so little to forgive her for that?

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  • U can forgive her but i wouldnt recommend getting back together with her

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  • She was not cheating on you if they weren't in a romantic position

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  • You should always give someone a second chance, unless they've cheated on you.

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  • No it's not. Cheaters will cheat again

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What Guys Said 4

  • In my opinion that is not cheating. Cheating would be having sex with another person when you are together and considered a couple. That is good that she feels bad about it as that tells me that she would feel far worse if she were to ever cheat on you or with anyone else. I don't think she will cheat on you but then again I have been wrong before. Good luck on your relationship with her too.

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    • Yup, we can never tell, but thanks buddy!

  • Dude break up with her for good. Its not worth it. Relationships are all about trust and if you don't trust her anymore then its not gonna end well. If you think the relationship will get better after this I have bad news for you man. You are going to grow more and more untrustworthy of her and more resentful towards her for doing that to you. I'm sorry that happened to you man.

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  • Since when did you two broke up? Actually i don't think that it is exactly cheating at all. It's not like your ex and that boy are alone watching the movie. But her mom and her bf? is there too. So i don't think so. Maybe slightly cheating if she admitted it for feeling guilty but really i don't think it's really cheating. Will she ever cheat again? I don't know you would have to ask yourself since you know her better than we do.
    I think you should talk to her about it and maybe get back together? It's just a rough patch

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    • We broke up (again) just recently. But when that happened (before finding out), she broke up with me saying she lost feelings. I really dug in deep and tried to find out if there was someone else. That's when I found out about all of this. I had to squeeze everything out of her but she openly admitted. After that and a few days, we got back together for another month or so. Now we're separated because of her family issues. She's really a troubled person, and I understand. Her life problems amplified and exaggerated our relationship problems, which led to her being emotionally and physically damaged.

      I'm just left in the dark. I don't know what to do and it's killing me. Sorry for all the info.

    • Oh okay.. Well about your question. Of course it's okay that you forgave your ex. It's the right thing to do and that you have moved on. Good luck man

    • Thank you, and yeah I tried, it's hard but I moved on lol.

  • Dont forgive. Cheaters will always cheat

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