She's in a bad relationship but likes me... how should I proceed?

As the title says, there is a woman who I like and who seems to really like me -- we've had some great and intense and intimate conversations about all kinds of things, and we enjoy each other's company and just "click". I'm pretty sure she would pursue me or invite me to pursue her if it weren't for the fact she has a boyfriend, and seems really attached and intent on making this thing work, even after twice breaking up (but getting back together).

I wouldn't normally go for a woman who is already in a relationship, but her boyfriend is not a good man -- he is possessive and controlling, and spent time in prison for dealing drugs.

My question is: what do I need to do, besides continuing to be a good friend, to win her from (or take her away from) her current boyfriend?

I would also like to hear from women who were in that position -- who had bad boyfriends but who left him for a good man who they had fallen for while still dating the bad b/f.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hello
    i just got out of a situation so similar to yours
    it was a really big drama between me and him to get her and i lost to him , i know it is not a game but it feels like game , she was and still though so confused and now she did make her choice and she chose him over me even i am super qualified than him but i made some mistakes and other factors play role in this situation like :

    The Time -Friends - the race - the memories - the phone - the experience - the patience

    and to answer more your question here's what i think :
    what you need to do is keep on doing what you're doing by showing her how much she can be and feel safe when she's with me , offer yourself as a choice and not as an option for her , you dont want to be an option for her
    dont push her or force her to do anything specially against her boyfriend
    do not ever try to compare yourself with her boyfriend << i mean in conversations <<
    try in actions, if he treats her so bad you treat her like a queen
    try to gain her trust more than now
    and finally always expect that you will not win her and she may stay with her bf

    i wish i could help more
    i wish you the best

    Best Regards


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What Girls Said 2

  • You're disgusting. If this woman has any sense of integrity, she will not want a man who would so shamelessly take something away from another man.
    If she really wanted you all that bad, she would leave her boyfriend for you. You wouldn't have to decrease your moral compass to steal her away because she would willingly go to you. It's not your place to judge whether it's a "bad relationship". The point is she's taken and regardless of what has happened, she cares enough to stay with him and try to make things work. So back off. Stop being so disgustingly self-absorbed.

  • Wait and think what's best for you


What Guys Said 5

  • be a friend... that's it. you don't pursue women in relationships

    something to also consider the saying you are the company you keep. so if she dates a bad guy... what's that make her? I mean she may not be a bad person but there is a reason why she stays with a guy who is bad and maybe you should consider if that is something you want to get involved with

  • I agree with all of these. Doesn't sound like you want to be her friend, but something more😑.

    I've had guys come in my relationship as friends. Soon they want to incorporate themselves into both our lives. Causing problems and trust issues.

    Soon mistakes happen and thus ruins the relationship. Guys like you disgust me. Move on and leave them alone. Don't even try to continue being her friend.

  • It likely ain't going to happen, bud. You're going to end up being her emotional tampon and when this guy comes around - he'll be plowing her like a cotton field.

  • "her boyfriend is not a good man -- he is possessive and controlling, and spent time in prison for dealing drugs."
    Keep away from that girl if you don't want to be beaten up, knifed or shot.

  • Go for a single girl.


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