Is he cheating on me if he Facebook messages girls?

Me and my boyfriend have been together almost a year and we've said our, "I love you"s and everything. My boyfriend Adam is very social and a bit of a flirt by nature and he admits that he play flirts with people. He'll even do it infront of me sometimes and I don't care, I don't feel the slightest bit concerned by it because it's just who he is. He has issues with insecurity, depression, commitement (fear that things will fall apart.) He just has a lot of deep issues that I'm trying to work through with him because I love him and don't want to give up on him like others have.

I know he talks to girls on Facebook . He's let me use his phone before to Facebook someone and I saw his messages with girls he knows and some not so much. He told me he likes to talk to people and I freaked out a little so he made us publicly official to prove he loves me, he knows how strict I am with cheating. Since then, he is very private with his phone sometimes. I don't look through his things out of fear of what I could find. What I do see is the Facebook chat bar saying when he was last active which is pretty often, from morning to when we say goodnight. We spend a lot of time together, but we had one week where he was super distant then bounced back when I backed off. Is it considered cheating if he talks/flirts with other girls on Facebook ? Should I be concerned now that he's being more secretive about it?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • For me flirting/talking to other girls can't be considered cheating, but for my bf flirting is cheating so i just avoid it, but just talking isn't cheating at all unless it has sexual content, and for me it's normal to be secretive with my Facebook or phone, since i've got personal convos that even though they aren't anything bad i wouldn't even show my bf since it would be compromising other people, maybe he stopped letting you use his phone because he assumed you'd just get jealous which i think you are, but if you dislike your bf talking to other girls just talk to him about it, hope this helped

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What Guys Said 2

  • Talking to girls is not cheating. Dating them or having sex with them is cheating.
    Should you be concerned? Nope. It's not really any of your business who he chooses to talk to. He knows you don't like it so he keeps it from you.
    He's the one who made you publicly "official" and you spend a lot of time together. You've got nothing to worry about and quit trying to be so controlling

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  • What's considered cheating is up to you.

    But you should lay a groundwork for him to work with if there's potential for issues. I don't think it is, personally, but if it's concerning to you, you should tell him and give him a chance to defend himself; being open with each other is essential to making relationships work, and if he bounces back, then there's still something there. You gotta be able to work with him, and he has to be able to work with you, so sit down and talk and see if you can work something out so that you can feel more secure in your relationship.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It really depends on what he's saying to these girls, and what you think cheating is. Him being more secretive is suspicious to me. I'd ask him about it.

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  • I mean he is probably saying thing she shouldn't be saying. My boyfriend lets me see everything I'm not constantly checking you know? Because i trust him but if he is giving reasons or sneaky behavior i would bring it up.

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