My divorce was final on 1/14/14. I just found out my wife was cheating on me before it ended. She tries to say she didn't meet the person until 2/2 but I can't believe a word she said. She was caught by the wife of a couple who were "friends" almost a year ago. She claimed it was just phone calls but she did go on a date with him. she claims it was just dinner to try and understand why "I did the things I did and try to understand our relationship" while we were going through what turned out to be our last 8 months together. I wanted to believe her because I love her so deeply and wanted to stay together. But now I know the truth of both issues. you know the saying "fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you.". Since months before the divorce was final it was like she took our 25 years together and just threw it away. how does someone do that? It is clear she never loved me. maybe never even cared about me. how does someone live a lie for that long and for what reason? She tries to play a caring mother. But she wanted a divorce. So she feels we were a mistake and we should never have been married, what does that say about your children? how can you care about something that was a product of something you wish never happened. I feel so foolish, embarrassed, stupid, and humiliated. She seems to just throw things in my face ever couple of weeks just to hurt me. like she gets off on it. I am up at 2:30 because I can't turn my mind off. We met on 1/10/89 and I went into the Air Force on 2/14/89.. I came home on May 27 and asked her to marry me. She wrote me a ton from the start of basic training until late into tech school until I was able to call whenever I wanted. I still have every letter and card she sent me. I just finished going through many of them again. All the "we will be together forever because I love you so much" I was such a fool. And because I never had a girlfriend before so I believed it. Now I am a 45 yr old fool.
Most Helpful Girl
You are NOT a fool!! You are a true man that truly loved a woman. It is not your fault that she turned out to be a bad person. I know it hurts and it will hurt for a while until you can fully heal. The great thing about your situation is that one day you will look back at your part in the marriage and be able to honestly say that you loved with all of your heart, and that you did the right thing. She will look back one day and realize how much of a horrible person she IS, she can never go back and fix the mess that she made and that will eat her up inside. I am speaking from my own experience, I was married to my first husband for 5 years and I was 100% faithful, honest, loyal, invested and in love with him and our life together. That is until I found out he was cheating on me, sadly I loved him so much that I forgave him over and over. After about a year of his cheating and lies, I finally got some balls and left him. So fast forward to now 7 years later, I am now happily married to my second husband (going on 6 years) and me and my ex-husband are actually good friends (mostly because we have two kids together), well anyways he has told me over and over throughout the years that he is so sorry and he regrets his mistakes every day of his life. He says I am the one that got away, he realizes that I would have never done anything to hurt our marriage/family. But he knows 100% that I am over him and happy with my new life, and it still kills him to this day. He knows he messed up bad, and that life will never be the same and he only has himself to blame. I don't want him to have a bad life, I want him to one day find happiness with someone else again. I just hope he learned his lesson, because he is setting the example that my children are learning from. I hope somehow this helps you. Just remember that you will be perfectly fine one day, but she will never get rid of the guilt and shame of what she has done to you and your family NEVER!1