My situation is a little complicated so any advise helps, the main question is has any girl ever taken back after she dumped him for being "needy"?

so to make things short. she really liked me at the being and i just kept pushing her away, we were not official but i "broke up" with her a few times with her and made her cried, but i always came back and slowly i started opening up. so it got to the point that i felt bad that i made her cried so many times, so i started to change. we were arguing a lot once we hit the 6 months period (i think because we were seeing each other 24/7). i was trying to fix things and i guess that's when she thought i was being too needy, because i was trying to show her that i cared, but i didn't realized that i was smothering her and the relationship. needless to say, we had a huge argument right before the holidays.. in the hit of the moment i said something that i regret saying "maybe i need to find someone else to make me happy" of course i didn't me it, i just felt that i was the only one trying. so she started crying and broke up with me. we did the whole back and forth for 2 1/2 months but it was very unhealthy, because i know the problem wasn't fixed, she'll ask me to take things slow back i'll freak out and break it off to come back a week later and do the same thing again. anyway, i found out that all she wanted initially was a break, but now even though she says cares a lot about me more than friends, she said that she doesn't see herself with me for at least a couple of months, and she wants to date other people because she's young and wants to experience things. she's 20 and im 25 fyi. did i ruin my chances for good? we finally agreed to stop talking for a while until things cool off, which has been a week now. and she already has gone on two dates that i know of.


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  • well this is a sticky situation hahaa! that was very cliche im so sorry :p
    you two sound like you have quite a few differences between you. nothing too great but maybe many small differences add up to one huge issue if they aren't talked out calmly and rationally.
    i really hope that from all the times you made her cry it was just because she's an emotional girl and not cos you said something stupid. and if she cried then you know she definitely cared about you.
    second i strongly feel like you should have a looong conversation and have an agreement right before that whatever you say is to try and make things clear and understand where the both of you are coming from. and you also really have to try to think really hard about what you're about to say. i completely understand how it was just inthe moment tho dw. this is just to prevent something else from happening.
    maybe she wants a break because of what you said or maybe not. whatever the case if she's going to date other people i think you should too :) then if it's meant to happen she'll come back. BUT if she leaves again after that then i advise you to end it there. all the drama just wouldn't be worth it.

    • hey thanks for taking the time to read my drama lol and give some advise.
      of course all the times i made her cried were because we were having some small arguments, and i'll just get mad and tell her that things wouldn't work out, when all i really wanted to do was to just go for a walk to cool down, but my anger got the best of me every time. i felt so bad and i started to change, and that's when she saw me as being needy. and that's her reason why she doesn't want to be with me. this is just me assuming but she was trying to give me some chances to see if i'll change we did the hold back and forth thing for 2 1/2 months, i was just so caught up with the thought of getting back together right away that my emotions wouldn't let me think.
      im not going to hide or lie about it, i guess i was being needy only because i wanted to show her that i care, but she already had her walls up and the more i tried, the more i felt her distance.

    • there's a few more things that i think i should say so you'll have a better idea. I have post traumatic stress syndrome from the war in iraq, i think that and past experiences have made it hard for me to connect with people. right before the break up she kept saying that, sometimes she felt the connection between us and sometimes didn't. i can hear her saying this and i was trying to find why? and once again i was trying to fix the problem with the wrong approach by being "needy". i wasn't aware of my problems until the break up, but the more i explained "i think i sounded more needy" trying to make excuse for my behavior. yea i want her back, but i was completely honest about everything.
      but the more i think about it, maybe she deserves better than me. i always treat her good, i just didn't know how my personal issues were affecting us. i just wish i had i way to make her see how i truly feel without holding back this time.

    • i know it sucks trust me. almost EVERYONE at some point in life has to feel or act needy in order to eventually grow out of it and into a stronger person.
      another thing is that a relationship consists of 2 people not one. so it's never ALL your fault. she has to have at least a tiny bit of fault too, just like you can't always be the one to fix things when they get hard. otherwise its as though you're in a relationship with yourself.
      and there is a fine line between being honest and being needy. if she thought you were being need just because you tried opening up then she has to realise that SHE has some fault to it too rather than just you. and yes you might have some problems but be assured you aren't the only one. it could also be that she isn't ready for anything serious you never know. but until she comes around i suggest you date other girls or maybe dedicate this time for some self reflecting in order to better yourself for the next relationship or life in general :)

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