Should I apologize or is she already over me?

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So it's been almost a year and a half since I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend, but I still haven't apologized. I've been too afraid to confront her. I didn't break up with her because I disliked her, but only because I just felt like we weren't a good enough fit. She wanted a future and I couldn't imagine myself being with her for the rest of my life, so I ended it before she got anymore attached than she already was. She was a really really nice girl with a pure heart and we would do volunteer work together from time to time. I was actually the one crying when I broke up with her because 1) it was my first relationship and first time breaking up with someone and 2) I didn't want to break her heart because she was such a nice girl. It was an unpleasant experience. After the breakup her whole family hated me even though they loved me before, but I can understand why. However, her parents seem to be cool with me again now.
Main point and question is; should I go and apologize now even though we haven't spoken for 1 1/2 years? Or has she forgotten about me and pushed any memories to the back of her mind? I feel like I should've apologized much sooner and that she deserves it.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I've been the girl in a similar situation. There's no reason why you shouldn't apologize, as it's never too late to do that and give her at least some closure. She probably hasn't forgotten you or the memories you guys share, but I think hoping to go back to where you guys last finished off would be much too complicated.

    For one, if her family dislikes you, that leaves your potential relationship ill-fated from the start. Also, despite the fact that you apologized and she's had time to 'get over it' and move on, there's a pretty high chance that she still will always have a chip on her shoulder towards you and whatever happened. I don't know how long you guys were together or how serious things got, but that's how I feel in my situation. My guy also apologized about 1.5 years later which I appreciated for giving SOME closure, but regardless I wish he would just leave me alone. I was actually sort of mad that he came waltzing back in thinking he'll apologize so long after the fact, when I had made so much progress in getting over him and thing I'll just greet him with open arms.

    • I'm not trying to get back together and the thought never entered my mind since I already have a girlfriend that I am serious with. I just saw her family the other day when I was out and it got me thinking about whether I should apologize now or not. And her family is cool with me now, its her that I'm unsure of. So with this information, should I apologize or not?

    • Yea, I think there's no harm in apologizing. You don't want to burn any bridges, right? :P

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What Girls Said 12

  • She probably is over you by now if she hasn't made any attempt at contacting you.
    But it's still the humble thing to apologize.
    Just don't make it look like an act at getting back together and lead her on.
    Just be a gentlemen, be honest about why you broke up, and apologize.
    Good luck. 👌

  • It's never too late to apologize. Just tell her that you feel bad and that it's been on your heart since y'all broke up. Let her know that you're sorry and she will most likely accept your apology. She will know it's sincere since you've thought about it for so long. :)

  • If you don't have anything else planned for the both of you, just apologize and tell her that she's gonna find the right one for her. If she gets mad, let it be. Atleast you said your part

  • Aww what a nice guy you are extremely thoughtful and caring, i would leave it coz its been a long time, sometimes after a break up, people may be upset etc but overtime, they learn to deal with their emotions, times heals or eases pain, she might think of you but will hav moved on with the situation if you approach her painful emotions may resurface snd cause her to go through it again, the memories of the breakup will reappear, so really you would be hurting her again if you confronted her about it all this time, you did the right thing for both of you, by ending a relationship that didn't work for you , so you have nothing to appologise for, never feel guilty that u ended it, coz u av to remember, that if you say yes to others, you aren't saying no to yourselves

  • no. leave r alone. there's nothing to apologize for. you didn't want to be with her so you broke up. though i think how attached or not she gets to you is her decision, not yours. if she was worried about getting too attached she could break up with you if you were worried about it then i think that wasn't what you were worried about. maybe deep down you were worried she'd leave you not the other way around.. breaking up because you think she may want more than you down the road is kind of dumb when you supposedly like being with her. my guess is you wanted out and that was the excuse. now you want to apologize bc you miss her.

    let her forget you- if she hasn't thats more of a reason not to contact her.

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