How do I move on when my trust has been be broken?

My ex and I were still involved after the break up and trying to work things out enough to possibly be friends. However, during dinner a sensitive subject came up and I ended up saying something that made him go on the defensive and question why I didn't feel I could trust him still even though he I guess feels he has demonstrated that I can. I feel like he is attempting to turn the fact that he broke my trust into something that I should just get over and never get upset over that he did so. I know it hurts him that I feel this way but I think he has told me with his actions that he is defensive and does not really wish to gain my trust back. It hurts a lot because we were together for such a long time and I know he does not have any close friends and plenty of personal problems to work through. I do love him, but I suppose I don't trust him.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Of course he is going to be hurt and a little angry that you still can't get over what he did... I mean if you did something and were very sorry for it, you would want that person to forgive you right? With that being said, building trust is already tough, let alone Rebuilding it. He has to understand that you need time to fully get over what he has done, and he has to realize that he has to prove to you that he is worthy of your trust. In a perfect world, we would be able to fully forgive someone when they say they are sorry. Unfortunately, life isn't like this, and to be honest, some of the dumbest girls I have ever met are the one's who automatically forget every mistake a guy makes right away. Should you dwell on their mistakes? Of course not, but you shouldn't force the forgiving and forgetting process. Continue to work things out with him, but don't bring up his past mistakes. If you find that you really can't bring yourself to trust him at all again after a certain point, then maybe you aren't meant to work things out with.

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What Girls Said 3

  • he shouldn't get mad at you for not trusting him. this is something that can only take time to heal, and even then you might never feel like you can trust him again.

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  • Simple. You move on from him. Love is pointless without trust.

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  • He broke your trust, and you DID have a right to get upset about it, ONCE. Then, you work through it and you let it go. It is unfair to both of you (especially him) to hold onto crap from the past. You absolutely cannot keep punishing him over and over for one mistake. If you don't trust him, then it's probably a good thing you aren't together anymore. He had a right to get upset when you brought it up again. You either forgive him for it and don't bring it up again, or you don't forgive him and you quit having a relationship with him (friends, lovers, any of it).

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