Can exes who are still in love with each other be "just friends"?

My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago because he's going to become an emt soon. Emts have complicated shifts. He said that the ones he's talked to, have only seen their girlfriends about 3 times a month.

But, we never fought. Our relationship was only for a year but it was amazing. We went through so much that he really became the love of my life. Everyone said we we're perfect for each other. He is such a good guy. He and I both know that we won't find someone else with each others qualities. But he says he wants to be friends and if it's meant to be then we'll get back together.

He's the sweetest guy ever. Really, he's like marriage material good. I know it can work. It's going to be hard but our love for each other was strong.

His mom told me that he's still in love with me. How can I make him snap out of this? :( I know in my heart that we can make it work. He says he wants someone that can devote their time for me. But I want him. He's everything I ever asked for. He's like my prince charming


Most Helpful Girl

  • Although your "Prince Charming" is everything you have ever wanted in a man, and had even the white horse and all, which Is indeed hard to find, he feels at this time, that it's unfair to make you hang in the balance, because he knows very well that what he is about to encounter Is going to be---Complicated.
    The best thing you can do right now, is be patient and understanding and---supportive. If you say you love him and want him and that He Is "marriage material," then stay on the sidelines for now, and perhaps once he sees that you are Everything that has "devoted her time" for him Only, he may have a change of heart and put things back to your fairy tale story. xx

    • I think the main thing I see here is that he feels it's unfair to her for her to hang in the balance. It's her choice whether to hang in the balance or not and not his, and she wants to try.

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    • That's what I think too. I'm tired of sitting and wondering what is going on.

      I'm pretty sure that he didn't want this relationship to end <3

    • No, I don't think so neither.. I think he wanted to do what he thinks is best, but he still wants you there.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Seems like he really does need to snap out of it. It sounds like he's convinced himself that he's doing this for you and your happiness. You really need to explain to him that the thing that will make you happy is him and you know what's best for you and it's him. If you two really feel this strongly about each other and you're dedicated to making it work then it will probably work out, and you two owe it to each other to at least try. If this doesn't work, and I don't usually advise things like this, you should chase him and send a message that you're not going to give up on him.

    He loves you, you love him, your relationship is stable, and you're striving to make it work with him. Don't give up with this one, fight for it!

    • I mean think about army wives! Their husbands jobs are extremely complicated but there's Skype, Facebook , etc.

      I knew what I was getting myself into when he said he wanted to be a firefighter. And im willing to fight for this guy even if it makes me look pathetic.

      We have to at least give it a trial run you know? I think it's just the stress talking because he wakes up at 2:30am to go to work from 4:00am_2:30 pm. (Monday, Tuesday, Friday , Saturday) & he has his school after 6:00-10:00, Mondays Tuesdays and from 4:00-10:00 on Thursdays. And this is his last chance to take the emt class :/ but he's the kind of guy worth fighting for<3

    • My girlfriend lives in another state while I attend college and internships, and we're still doing great after being together for over 2 years. Some people can't handle relationships under stress like that, but I think most people can if they try hard enough.

      He does seem very busy with a pretty stressful schedule, I would definitely try as well as be supportive all along the way. Having someone to talk to and be close to while you go through all that stress can help a ton, it's a lot better than having no one throughout all of that.

      I agree that you have to at least try, I recommend a lot of people on here to try to move on but I really don't think you should be doing that and I'm surprised others are saying to. You know he loves you and you know you love him, when that's true you should almost always fight for the relationship.

      Wish you the best of luck!

  • 99% of the time you can't be friends with an ex in that kind of situation, you are going to pretty much tease each other by saying "You can have me" to each other. I wouldn't go for it...

    i'm sorry :(

    Good luck if you need any other help let me know


What Girls Said 3

  • I have a friend whos dad is an emt, yes there schedules are a bit hectic and he isn't home a lot. your ex is right in saying that if it is meant to be you two will end up back together, and i think those chances are good. he may just need some time to work through his schedule and see what it will be like. i am sure if you two are still in love as much as you say you are, you two will end up back together if you are willing to make it work. just give him some time and let him work through this for awhile, and then reapproach him with the subject.

  • Definitely not.
    When he starts dating someone else, it is going to bother you to the core. How are you going to feel when another girl comes into his life and is trying to solidify a strong relationship with his mother? How are you going to feel knowing that they will be creating lovely memories together? How will it make you feel knowing that she is awakening his sex faces and giving him orgasms? Effing sh*tty. It will really hurt you ad that's totally natural. It's really not wise to put yourself in such a painfully disappointing situation, girl : /

  • You can't make him snap out of this. He's made his decision. He prefers to focus on work right now. Maybe sometime down the future you'll rekindle the relationship, maybe not. Sometimes guys use a reason like this, if they don't see the relationship being forever material, to get out without hurting the other half anymore than necessary. I wouldn't be waiting around for him. If you do, and a year down the road meets someone else and gets engaged, you'll be devestated.