He broke up with me but he wants things to remain the same and he wants a future with me. What should I do?

My boyfriend broke up with me today because he says that he needs to focus on his career. He says that his grades have been slipping because he focuses all of his attention on me and he can't focus on his schoolwork. he thinks that the label is what is causing such stress in his life. We are in a long distance relationship and it hasn't been easy on the both of us. Being apart has literally made us both sick. He was diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety and I think that a part of it may stem from our relationship and I have been pretty depressed too.
He thinks that being apart may give us the opportunity to live our lives without regret and limitations.
He wants things to remain the same. He wants us to act like nothing has happened and he still would like for me to be a part of his life. He says that I am his baby and that I will always be his baby.
We have planned out a future together. He wants it to happen and he truly believes that our love will surpass all of the obstacles that'll come along the way and that one day, he will be "worthy" of me and he will support me and our family.

But being single gives him the freedom to be with anyone he wants and I don't know if I can be a part of that.
I don't want to be a part of that.
I love him. I truly believe that I have found my soulmate.
What should I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • He's trying to have it both ways. You need to tell him that it doesn't work that way, and that if you aren't together, then you are a free agent and he can't have any expectations about your future. Since he broke up with you, he no longer has any say about what you do or who you do it with, and that you don't intend to put your life on indefinite hold for him, on the chance that he MIGHT want you back at some point.

    IF the two of you are single at some point in the future, and IF you decide you want to, THEN you can get back together and see if it works, but in the meantime, you should consider yourself to be single and act accordingly. You have to assume that you'll never get back together, and you have to question why you'd WANT to get back together with someone who would toss away your relationship when it got difficult instead of trying to work it out.

    Anyway, you need to tell him that you can't be on his back burner.


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