Hi there! As the title says I'm confused about my relationship with my boyfriend (currently we have been "on break" for two days). We are both in university I'm 20 and he's 21.
[Last year we had some problems because of his contact with his ex-girlfriend. I asked him one day to explain the situation so I wouldn't imagine the worst and he assured me it was nothing. A month or two later I notice her contacting him and him responding (I didn't read the messages, I was just able to see her name when he would open his phone, etc.) I confronted him again and learned she was sending him "pictures" and writing dirty texts. But he wouldn't respond to those. Because he just wanted to be her friend. To this day, I don't believe that... but I forgave him. And he said if he ever heard from her again he would tell me.]
On Saturday morning my boyfriend left his laptop/email open accidentally when he left for work. Now normally I am not the type of person to go through someone's private things without permission, but I had suspicions something was going on. I noticed his phone is with him all the time now and it won't leave his side. Even when he goes to shower he leaves it in there when he used to just leave it on the bed/wherever.
Anyway, in his inbox there were messages from his ex-girlfriend. I was only able to see messages from Thursday and Friday , but they had been talking for over a week. The messages were him telling her he wanted to live with her and it would be the best thing ever... telling her they need a hangout/sleepover asap... telling her our relationship isn't worth it. But the one that hurt the most was when he said he needed therapy and her to make him feel young again - basically that I'd been so awful and boring I made him old. And he had complained in detail about me over their week of email.
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Which 2 times has he cheated on you exactly? I am just trying to make sense of it all. I have been through something so similar. With mine, he said the same thing.. it was an outlet of frustration. To a point it can be.. but does he have evidence of this frustration? Did you do anything to make him feel like this? These are the things that have to be evaluated. I will also say--it is smart to at least flee for a few days. You don't have to leave him.. but just go to someones house and tell him you need time to think. That way he knows he can't get away with this. How long have you been with him? Is it worth it to you to stay? Will you be able to FULLY trust him ever again? You need to ask yourself this. And, if there are circumstances for him to be with you again, you need to make it known. Make rules.. like he can't take his phone with him into the shower (that is a RED FLAG in itself), and have him stop talking to this girl. And, I would even make him change his number. I wouldn't trust that girl ever again.. and that would be your logic with it.0