I told my ex I still love him?
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I'm not going to discredit whatever emotional connect you had with this guy. Sometimes we fall for people we wish we hadn't and it seems nearly impossible to get past. The only advice I can give that I've ever seen work is to find a new guy. Accept that the first new guy you meet may not be as funny or charming as your last boyfriend, but keep looking until you find one you connect with again. What you have to do is keep yourself from thinking about your past situation as an option. We can think about things so much that we tend to dull memories over time. But you have to take care of YOU.
And you need to be very thankful that you got out of the dangerous situation when you did. Remember that if you went back to your ex, you might not be able to get away again. My sister was recently with a very abusive guy and after about a year of living with him, being fully dependent on him, she decided to leave. After not finding a compatible boyfriend in a month, she went back to the guy. I'll tell you, it's a miracle that she's alive. We managed to talk him down when he had a loaded gun to her head. It still really upsets me to think about, and I would NEVER wish that kind of harm on any woman. Let this be the story that reminds you finding a new boyfriend is much easier than escaping an abusive one.
The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem ;)
People get addicted to terrible things all the time.. bad relationships, drugs, booze.. You're addicted to this relationship bc you believe there is some "special connection" a. k. a "the reward" .. until the bad out weighs the good, in your own mind, you won't leave.. no matter how much he's hurting you. You have to realize it's a false "reward" type thing going on here and that the "special connection (the reward)" is a lie your brain has come up with to help you rationalize the abuse you're taking... You're brain says, "Hey Don't worry, you're not crazy for staying with this loser, you just have a "special connection.".. when in reality, there is no special connection :\ He treats you like shyt most of the time so when he doesn't, You get a temporary high or "reward".. that's the "special connection". It's a vicious cycle. END IT.
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