I told my ex I still love him?

After leaving his ass in the middle of the night. Its been 6 months. He was emotionally and (once) physically abusive. He is also a drug addict. I said I want to visit him. I sent him sexy pictures, some money all over the course of a couple of days. etc he's homeless by the way. I even said I want to buy him a car (Why am I so extreme? Who does this? I know this is abnormal to want to buy someone a car?) And I'm hot ass lady and this whole situation is actually true, Im pining for a loser can't get over it and I don't know why. I'm an idiot and I know this. I've been thinking he's someone he's not this whole time. WHY the hell am I stuck on the lowest of the low. He is not even interested in me? Just using me and I still love. Clearly I am the one with the issue here. I don't plan on speaking to him, probably ever again. But these feelings? It's already consumed half of my year, when the hell will it just go away? We only spoke once and that was last week because well I had a preminition that he was NOT okay. Turns out I was right and he got in a big car accident. We had a very special connection, he just happened to be not the best side kick for me. Anyway I feel vulnerable still for expressing my feelings and didn't really get much in return. When really I thought he'd show some interest? Stuck on stupid. Literally help1

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  • I'm not going to discredit whatever emotional connect you had with this guy. Sometimes we fall for people we wish we hadn't and it seems nearly impossible to get past. The only advice I can give that I've ever seen work is to find a new guy. Accept that the first new guy you meet may not be as funny or charming as your last boyfriend, but keep looking until you find one you connect with again. What you have to do is keep yourself from thinking about your past situation as an option. We can think about things so much that we tend to dull memories over time. But you have to take care of YOU.
    And you need to be very thankful that you got out of the dangerous situation when you did. Remember that if you went back to your ex, you might not be able to get away again. My sister was recently with a very abusive guy and after about a year of living with him, being fully dependent on him, she decided to leave. After not finding a compatible boyfriend in a month, she went back to the guy. I'll tell you, it's a miracle that she's alive. We managed to talk him down when he had a loaded gun to her head. It still really upsets me to think about, and I would NEVER wish that kind of harm on any woman. Let this be the story that reminds you finding a new boyfriend is much easier than escaping an abusive one.

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  • The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem ;)
    People get addicted to terrible things all the time.. bad relationships, drugs, booze.. You're addicted to this relationship bc you believe there is some "special connection" a. k. a "the reward" .. until the bad out weighs the good, in your own mind, you won't leave.. no matter how much he's hurting you. You have to realize it's a false "reward" type thing going on here and that the "special connection (the reward)" is a lie your brain has come up with to help you rationalize the abuse you're taking... You're brain says, "Hey Don't worry, you're not crazy for staying with this loser, you just have a "special connection.".. when in reality, there is no special connection :\ He treats you like shyt most of the time so when he doesn't, You get a temporary high or "reward".. that's the "special connection". It's a vicious cycle. END IT.

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