Saw BF Facebook chat w another chic. EXTREMELY SEXUAL.

I didn't intend on snooping when I logged onto Facebook using his iPad but it went directly to his page and I noticed a message archive with a woman I didn't know. I opened the conversation and about fell over reading the sexual nature of this chat. Well actually the message I read was from her to him but referenced things he told her to do earlier that night in a different chat site. We've been having problems for the past year and sex is rare. It's not completely dead but close to it. I know men have needs hell women do too but I'm beside myself. I also saw he's been messaging an ex that he was very hung up on before we got together about 4 years ago. I've kept all of this under my hat bc we have a daughter who's 3 1/2 and have been trying to come to a better place w him but after seeing these things I have major doubts. Oh and he was mad at me yesterday so went out w friends and didn't come home until 9am
Updates:
added details: I've been a STHM since the birth of our daughter so have no income and nothing saved. he's taken away all my friends and family live over 8 hrs away. i wish i could leave but its like im stuck

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Be upset, but don't jump to conclusions. It's best to just have a night to yourself, have a babysitter or a family member watch your kid for a few hours so you can just talk about where you both are in the relationship. If you are in different places and there is just no romantic feelings left then maybe it's time to think about going your own ways.

    If I'm being honest, I would say that it sounds like you're just dragging out a break up for the sake of a child, which can end really badly, usually with a lot of anger and, speaking from experience (having been the child in a case like that), a lot of unnecessary pain for your child.
    If you are both unhappy, which it sounds like you are, it may be best to just go your separate ways and just be good friends for your child. From a child's perspective, it's better to see your parents being friendly, but not romantic, rather than have them fighting and yell because they are too frustrated or fed up with each other to even be in the same room.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Leave him. The child will be better off too. He is no role model for her. But you will be if you leave him. You will find someone better.

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    • I agree. If it isn't working, it isn't working. No need to stress over a man. You should be happy and not have to worry about these things. Trust is where it's at, if its not there, move on. You will find a stable man soon enough.

  • you might be better leaving him. No point being with somone for the sake of it.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Don't let this relationship fall apart without trying. Being a child of divorced parents it is extremely hard and would not wish it upon anyone. I would find a time to talk to him about it and maybe go to couples therapy. But I beg of you to try everything you can before you break up with him as you have a child together.

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  • I'd leave him. Don't immediately tell him that you were snooping. But definitely leave him. He's not in love with you and has basically moved on from yours and his relationship

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  • Aww that's really bad, and it's extremely sad that you have such a young child. Yes it does seem like this relationship is beginning to fall apart and it's pretty obvious from the sexual messages. Although couples fight and need some space, it's not normal to be so mad and come home in the morning; they would've talked it out.

    It may not seem like the best thing but you should talk to him. Or just have a special day between you guys to catch that spark again

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