No contact after break up - Does it work?

I was with my ex-girlfriend for 7 months. First 6 months were amazing but the last month was very painful. A lot of arguments from her due to her controlling and not being able to trust easily (from the past). From my part its about not being able to see her expectations without her telling me.

I was quite relieved when we broke up. Felt light.

2 weeks on I am missing her. I think I miss the girl I fell in love with from the first 6 months. The latest version is nasty, very bitc*y and manipulative (while everybody will see just a happy, smiling. friendly and vulnerable girl).

a lot of hurtful things were said from her due to her insecurities and mind games. I kept up with her because I loved her.

We are going for at least one month of no contact now. My focus is to heal and get myself back to where I was (happy. confident, relaxed and physically fit). I don't want to focus on another woman.

This NC period - does it work? I think it helps with the recover but can it help one to realise his/her mistakes once the anger is out of the way?

What are your experiences with this no contact period?

What is the best way to use this time to move forward?

Well. MY NC period lasted just one week. She messaged me on Skype on how we were incompatible and how we don't have a future etc. It was strange because only one month ago she was telling me how much she loved me & how she wanted to move in with me
Now we have no spark, I was doing everything wrong and all my fault. I listened & at the end she said sorry if I hurt you which I said don't worry. I had a good weekend with friends. Now she is posting how much she's done shopping, training etc :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Have you both planned no contact?

    • She said lets give each other a break before I can ask for it. I told her I will not text or call her (I tried to call her a few times after we broke up to see if she is okay (her car broke down). She kept saying there is no chance of us getting back together (because she can't change me so that makes sense I suppose.

    • Show All
    • Lesson one. Women are selfish we want your constant attention, affection and praise. We want your effort and to feel like you out us first ALWAYS. To many women rely on men for happiness. But you should never have to ASK to see your friends she's not your mother and you are not a teenager. It's simple you are busy and perhaps she should see her friends too. She will also learn this in time

    • Very true. Thank you. Looking back there are things we could have done better. We both have learnt a lot of things this time

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I can relate. I was with my exboyfriend for a year. we lived together and I thought everything was fine. one day he excused me of cheating on him which no way no how did I cheat on him. he dumped me and kicked me out of our apartment. I left and now live out of state. I texted him a few hours after he broke up with me and haven't heard a peep from him. Working out for me has kept me strong and it has helped me realize that I want to be with someone who wants to be with me. he called me all kind of names during the breakup. no body deserves to be called names even if they are angry. be around positive people and those that care about you. if you were to stay in touch with a ex it would just mess up your psyche and why would you want that?


What Guys Said 2

  • The NC is for your benefit. You are not dredging up all of the bad feelings of the relationship, fighting, and clinging on to the hope that you'll get back together. It's not a plan to make the person who broke up realize their mistakes and come running back to you.

    From your own admission, it was a bad relationship and you were relieved when it was over. That's the feeling you need to focus on and understand that you should be happy she's not wanting to reconcile.

  • I wouldn't have no contact. the pain is easier.