Friendly breakup, so why is my ex acting this way?

I met the girl of my dreams over Christmas through some mutual friends. We dated for 2-3 months and everything was perfect. She would often tell me she'd never felt that right about a relationship before.

After 2 months however, she suddenly became very distant and even cold, after requesting for space and me trying my best to give it to her (although we live 2 hours apart so I only saw her on weekends) she broke up with me using the usual it's not you it's me and that she knew it sounded awful but she meant it.

She seemed heartbroken over breaking up with me, so I don't think she lied. She told me she had far too much on her plate being a full time student with a part time job and that she couldn't handle a relationship right now.

She expressed that it wasn't necessarily a final breakup and that she still wanted me in her life. I tried to give her some space so I waited 2 weeks before sending her a text message saying 'Hi' which she never replied to.

When I checked her Facebook page yesterday, I noticed she had removed me as a friend, whilst still keeping friends of mine she had only met in passing.

I guess my question is, why would she be so cold to me, it hurts to see how she went from being in love to nothing overnight. When she broke up with me I said maybe we could give it another try when she's off college for the summer, but she's being transferred to a college 3 hours away in September and she said she wouldn't leave if she was still with me. She started becoming cold the day she got her acceptance letter.

She told me a couple weeks before we broke up that she had trouble with anxiety/panic attacks and she was depressed when she dumped me.

What I'm trying to say is, I absolutely don't want to give up on her completely, that is not a sacrifice I am willing to make. Although we are both just 20, I know what we had was real, but I can't tell if she's acting this way because breaking up hurt her too or she simply doesn't care.


Most Helpful Girl

  • She might just know in her heart that between her busy schedule and the distance once she goes to school things will change so she's trying to end it before that happens. But, I also think that if she truly cared about you she wouldn't have cut if off like that. Especially deleting you off social media. Its hard to tell wether she could have been letting you down easy because she didn't care and used every excuse she could come up with to end it. It does kind of seem like she could have been making excuses. Thats just my opinion though as a girl i know when we truly have feelings for a guy wel at least try to make things work no matter what the situation... Or also i think maybe she ended it just because she wants to have that "college experience" without having to worry about a boyfriend. I've seen girls i know dump there boyfriends because of that reason. Kind of seems mean and it is, but it happens. If she did it for that reason then she may not care too much. If she comes home from school and tries to get back with you then that's a sign that she just wanted her freedom while at school and wants you around when its convenient for her. Don't be that guy. I think when your emotionally ready you should start seeing other people and let this girl go.

    • She had bad experiences in long distance relationships in the past, as all her exes ended up living several hours away. She has been ignoring me, but she tends to ignore her closest friends when she gets overwhelmed, to the point where she feels bad thinking those people would get upset with her and then keeps on ignoring them until she feels it blows over. The last time I saw her before she became distant, she gave me a card saying I was her ray of sunshine, that she couldn't possibly want more and that I was the best.

      That really confuses me as it went from the perfect relationship to absolutely no contact. She was my first girlfriend at the age of 20 so maybe I'm being a little too upset over it, but I thought what we had was beyond real and in part I still want to have her in my life as an important person, romantic or not.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Do yourself a gianormous favor, and listen to the song "If you're gone" by matchbox 20.The lead singer was in the same situation, but with his fiance.This was his reply to her.They were soon married afterward.


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