Having trouble getting over it...?

A little over a month ago I was his "everything", "soul mate", & "whole heart"... he even told his mom I'm the "one." He started acting funny. Broke up with me.. said he wasn't ready for the commitment or us. He asked me to promise him he wouldn't lose me completely... I never promised. One day he said we were never getting back together. A couple weeks ago he asked if I could ever forgive him in the future.. and he said he still wanted me. The next day he said he still wasn't ready for a relationship, but he knows I'm a catch.. and he's afraid he'll lose me. The other day he said he didn't want a relationship with me. He told me he has a date Sunday. He said he didn't want to talk about "us" anymore.. and it's driving him up the wall. But I wouldn't have talked about it so much if he'd answer... He doesn't make an effort to talk to me and yet he doesn't want me to stop being his friend. The other day, he posted on Facebook , "what special lady wants to spend six days with me in the Dominican Republic?" What the hell? How could he do a complete 360 all the sudden? I have a million thoughts running through my head.. And I can't let him go. I mean.., we we're supposed to be living together by this week.. We talked about marriage, kids, etc. I never rushed anything. He did.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I completely understand when you love someone and cannot let them go, I just went through it. But this guy is a complete whack job. unless you are leaving out some serious key points you need to walk away from this guy. he sounds unstable..

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    • Key points such as?

    • Show All
    • I didn't have enough room to tell everything, word for word. He knows how I feel for him. Some days he doesn't say anything. He only initiated our conversation once since he left me. I don't think he's on drugs or seeing a therapist. I don't know how to help him. But at the moment.. he doesn't seem to care.

    • the biggest lesson I have learned from my divorce is that you can love someone with all your heart, but you cannot make them love you back.

What Girls Said 1

  • I find that with today's toms, many of them are sporadic, unpredictable, and non committal. And when scared or cornered, will conveniently grow cold duck feet and waddle back into the murky waters as fast as a cat in heat. This One is no exception to my rule.
    He sounds very confused, and in his own way, emotionally unstable, when it comes to You and a relationship. He is playing these mind games that have you so frustrated and frucked up that you don't know whether you are coming and going. And to be quite honest, he won't stop, neither will he change.
    What he may want today, will change like the weather tomorrow, because he is fickle, leaving You in a----pickle. His feelings, his mind, are going a hundred miles a minute, and he can't decide if he wants a relationship, doesn't want one, wants you as a friend or even his "everything, soul mate, whole heart," or even a live-in. To me, this shows he is emotionally unstable, and you cannot trust from day to day, what he may or may not do. This is no man, no way to live, and nothing you should continue bothering yourself with.
    Yes, you should have "a million thoughts running through your head," and one of them should be: Dispose of the trash as fast as you can, and don't look back. He will do nothing but play with your head, your heart, and take everything from you, including any self respect you have.
    He may have been in one of those moods one day where he told you about wanting marriage, kids, etc., but tomorrow he is posting nonsense on Facebook and dating other girls right in front of your face.
    Of course, he wants you in his life for his convenient little cutesy, either for "friends with benefits," or just to torment and make life hell for you, because it shows him he has control over you, and thinks you will stand for it, no matter what he does, or who he has at the moment.
    You deserve better, sweetie. xx

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