Another heartbreak.. at a loss for words. Need help coping?

Hey, GAG.. Well, I'm writing because I just suffered a second heartbreak. I should be studying but I can't focus. So I thought maybe writing and getting some input from you guys would help.

Anyway, a girl I've known for 7 months (dated for almost 3) has just shattered my heart. I was skeptical about even being with her because she had a child but I gave it a try.

If you ask me, what help to unravel our relationship was her male friend, who I dislike very much. He's a coworker. She had sex with this guy before and I told her how I felt uncomfortable about him contacting her and she was like since they are both managers sometimes he would have to, but I told her no late nights.

She acknowledged, but it didn't stand. He continued to do so and she would brush it off as if it was nothing. She told me it was nothing. Just the other day she called the guy in front of me because she needed some information, but I just don't trust the guy. He sent her flowers on Valentine's Day when he knew we were dating. I was pissed and she tried to brush that off as him being a good friend. Soon after, she finally admitted to it being disrespectful and said she had a talk to him about her and him not going to be anything.

Still, I questioned the friendship. Anyway, we have been arguing a lot because of seemingly the same thing - him. She tells me I make it tough because it's just a friendship between the two.

Lately, she has been flip-flopping a lot. Telling me that she thinks we should be friends again and try to salvage what we have and I say no because I can't be friends with someone I have deep feelings for. Other times she agrees to work it out. Well today she told me she wants us to be friends and that I can't change her mind. She tells me that she is not ready for a relationship after all.

This left me broken because I wasn't even interested in being with her until she kept pushing the issue.

She tells me she's deeply sorry for hurting me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Think yourself lucky. This is really disrespectful to you. She should have cut all contact with that other guy. She has just messed you about all along. I know you're hurting but you will heal and you will have had a lucky escape.
    Next time be more cautious of who you're dating. If your instincts tell you this isn't right then it won't be.
    Take care of yourself.

    • Thanks. I really appreaciate your answer. I was ignoring her all night after she told me to respect her decision and to deal with it because I'm making it harder than it has to be, but then she texts me, "Call me this is important." So I called her and she tells me she's not feeling well. She was feeling bad the other day and I brought her medicine and so forth. If she didn't send that message I would've continued to ignore her. Now, she texts me, "Good Morning" as if everything is all good. Soon after, she calls me in her normal cheery voice asking what I'm doing. I was in the bed, but I don't plan on contacting her or giving her the opportunity to contact me. I was only worried about her, but she's not right for me. I can't be a friend to someone like this. It's already hard enough being friends with an ex.

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    • Yeah, I am in pain. When we first got together I told her how my ex of 3 and a half years (my first love) did me and she acknowledged how messed up it was. I never expected her to do me like this. Partly, because she told me how some of her exes had done her and all I wanted to do was treat her good. Like, I miss her. I just want to hold and kiss her, but like you said I'm just going to have to ignore her. It sucks that I introduced her to my family. I don't just introduce anyone to my family. She was the first girl I actually decided to really give my heart to in about 2 years and this is the thanks I get. I've dated many girls but we were just dating. It sucks. I hope she sees how she made a horrible decision. After all, she wanted me to be her boyfriend and I decided to be that and now she tells me she doesn't want a relationship anymore.

    • She was a time waster, I have had these in the past. Although it doesn't feel like it now, only good can come of this. What doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger. Don't beat yourself up, over her using you like this. You have learnt now. Guard your heart until you know the person well enough to give it to them properly. Date, date , date, if they rush you, you know they are just escaping from something else and aren't looking for something meaningful. And on the other hand they keep stalling, or talking to other guys like this girl did and if they don't seem as devoted to you as you are to her. Move on and move on fast. It is better to be alone, than to be lonely in a hollow relationship. Trust me, been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
      Thank you for the most helpful answer, but I do really wish you well and well done for realising you deserve better. :)

Valentines Day

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • It hurts I know but if with in 3 months she not taking your feelings into consideration then maybe she help you dodge a bullet. It seems like it was all about her and fine I get it. But look on the bright side the sex was good and you wasn't planning on going there anyway but you did and for your time you were happy for what a month and a half before the drama, REALLY? You can do better...Take time to feel yourself then MAN UP! Much love

    • Yeah, I can do a lot better but she just had a way of looking at me and saying things that made fall back into her little trap. The fact that she was really pretty helped a lot too, but it doesn't matter. I'm moving on. I just hope she misses what she could have had.

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    • I ignored her and she texts me, "So ur going to ignore me? Fine, I won't call."

    • Oh so now she wanna throw the guilt trip about ignoring her. She broke up with you. Ignore the calls until you are stronger in yourself to handle the pretty face. You are hurting and possibly a little emotional/sensitive towards her. Wait till you're stronger or catch yourself before dealing with her REMEMBER, not when she's ready but when you are

  • You've got to move on, she was playing with you from the very beginning. I know It hurts but time will heal. You don't need that in your life. Who does? That relationship sounded like the pits! What do you even miss?

    • When we first begin talking we were extremely happy. This was before her coworker (friend) started trying to make moves on her. She begin to acknowledge him more because he was going through a divorce (so she tried to help, I guess if that's what you want to call it). We were just friends at the time, but we acted like we were together. After he came into the picture during that point in time, everything has been down hill. The sex was also great.

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    • Also. It is 100% her fault for that guys behavior because she allowed it.

    • You make a great point. I would have loved for us to work because she seemed to actually want something out of life, but I guess you're right. I guess she just wants the freedom and to have fun. She told me that she was unsure about us even though we were the same age (she's a year older) because she usually went for older men because they were more serious. She told me she was in the stage of her life where she was thinking about settling down and I believed her because she had a child and she constantly stressed how all of the partying and everything was in her past. It sucks because I even let her meet my mom and my mom actually likes her. I guess I will have to tell her how she really is..

What Guys Said 2

  • I'm sorry. That's rough. A girl I'd known for 6 months broke my heart. My studies suffered as a result too. Put some space between you and her and let time do the rest. You ans I both know this kind of pain can only be cured with time. I had to see the girl I liked 5 days/week and it killed me. Thankfully she failed and was dropped from the class. Space and time. Those are the things you need. Try to immerse yourself in something that'll take your mind off it as well.

    • Definitely. She just called. I wanted to answer so bad, but I just can't put myself through it.

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    • I understand that. I unfollowed her on Instagram and she noticed, so now she texts me," I see how it is, have a great life."

    • Block her number and any other way she can contact you. Erase her from your mind.

  • It's time to walk man. I wouldn't even want to be friends with someone who treated me that way. Don't get me wrong; you should be civil to her any time that you happen upon her, but otherwise, you're better off without her.

    • True. As of now, I don't see myself answering phone calls or ever being in her presence (willingly) again. It's a harsh reality, but I guess it's just a necessary thing to do.

Valentines Day