Desperately needing insight on a very rough breakup with an ex-girlfriend?

To start, my ex-girlfriend and I began dating last March, after we had been friends for months previous. Literally everything was wonderful (no arguments, hung out all the time) up until January of this year when she began to become distant. I began finding out she was talking to her ex (who was mentally abusive) and told him that I was "Clingy As Fuck." This should have been my first red flag but I forgave her because I truly loved her. Then I began to hear that she was flirting A TON with one of the guys she works with and when I confronted her she replied with, "I have a crush on him but I would never act on it." Again, stupid me decided to forgive her and move past it. Weeks after this conversation I went to her house with every intention of breaking up with her when she flat out told me, "I love you and I want to make this work so badly." This stopped me dead in my tracks and I decided not to cut ties with her. Two days later, she came to my house, broke up with me and told me, "She wasn't happy with her life and that she needed space to breathe." I went into a state of depression because I loved this girl with all of my heart and gave her the world. My uncle was diagnosed with Stage 2 Cancer, my aunt with breast cancer and my god-father passed away, yet she felt the need to crush all that I was by cutting ties. I found out through a mutual friend 2 weeks later that she was already in bed with the kid from work she told me she was only friends with. I learned that she also had to purchase Plan B, and that she was going around bashing me at work. I'm honestly just so confused on what happened and it's eating me up from the inside. She initially told me she wanted to stay friends, but now has completely stopped answering me. Does anyone have any sort of idea to what happened to this "fairytail" relationship? Any insight would be highly appreciated.
Updates:
I should also include that my ex would be the one telling me to come over all the time, and would get upset when I went out and hung out with my friends (blah blah) so the "clingy as fuck" statement really didn't make sense to me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You are codependent! I am too, and it is very hard to realize when you are under the influence of another person you desire.

    Book: Co-Dependent No More by Melody Beattie... great read

    She is the type of shady selfish chick who loves attention and control, and she will always pursue any person who grants her those liberties. Most partners WON"T PUT UP WITH CRAP LIKE THIS. You have proven to be an accepting forgiving partner and she does not respect you because you have not given her any boundaries that she must respect to earn your love, it's whatever she says, goes.

    This is a very important relationship that gives you a chance to chose from now on if you want to be treated with respect in the future by women you date, or if you are going to pursue more of the same... Don't take it lightly, you have a choice!

    If any person ever ever does the type of thing she has done, talk aroung you in circles when caught, lying, badmouthing you, please recognize the patterns and put your foot down and leave them. It is the only way you will achieve a happy long term relationship and improve your self esteem. Don't let people mess with your heart any more.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Damn. While it hurts now, it sounds like you dodged a bullet. Not only was she cheating on you, she's also been lying about and bad mouthing you. Odds are, it wasn't a "fairytale" relationship…you just saw her true colors : /

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What Guys Said 2

  • yikes this sounds shockingly similar to a situation I went through with an ex. ignoring red flags, which in hindsight should've been obvious cues to run

    the fact is that there are no such thing as fairy tails, we live in reality right? so what happened is for a period of time (call it the honeymoon stage) everything was great. and then it went bad. but rather than be a stand up person and acknowledge that she should end it she strung you along while selfishly doing pretty much whatever she wanted. I imagine that when she wanted to reconcile (the day you meant to end it with her) she probably meant it on a surface level but ultimately she was already done with the relationship.

    this is one of those tell tale stories that you just have to take as an experience. learn to trust your instincts and if something stinks to you, believe that the odor isn't just your imagination. beware of self insecure people, which your ex sounds like both, as they will typically do great damage to the relationships in their life as they constantly strive to seek positive reinforcement for what is lacking within them. for a time you were the positive she needed, but the problem with destructive insecurity is that it needs constant reinforcement.

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  • Alpha fux, beta bux. That's what happened to you. Your story sounds textbook for what the redpillers out there believe. I'd advise you to check out theredpill reddit forum.

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