Why am I STILL not over my ex boyfriend?

My ex dumped me about 4 months ago, we were together for a year and his reason for dumping me was because he didn't love me anymore and he "didn't want to hurt me anymore". To make it worse, he started telling everyone he had crushes on multiple girls the DAY AFTER he dumped me.
I poured a lot of myself into that relationship, he told me he would never leave me and loved me so much, only to drop that bomb on me. I still don't understand how someone who "loved you so much" could one day decide they don't love you anymore and leave, and become a complete stranger. We had a lot of memories together and I was so close to him, and now we pass by each other without saying a word...he can't even bring himself to look at me anymore and whenever I'm near him he just walks away. He tried really hard to be my friend after he dumped me but I told him that I could never be friends with him again after he hurt me so badly so we haven't spoken to each other in months.
I've grown strong since the breakup. I don't think about him too often and seeing him no longer brings me to tears but every now and then I see him or think of him and get sad and angry. I have dreams about him a lot...I had a dream the other day that I texted him for the first time in months, then I had another dream where we actually spoke to each other for the first time in months.
In the back of my mind I knew that we weren't really right for each other...He is 2 years younger than me and less mature (I'm 18 and he's 16) and we weren't compatible in intelligence, interests, or creativity. But for some reason I still loved him a lot. And I feel like I might not ever completely get over him.
I hate that I gave someone so much power, when they didn't even love me. When and how can I get over this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You sound like the guy version of me. It will take time and honestly your boyfriend was only 16 years old. I would not trust anything a 16 year old would tell me. Once you are ready, start talking with other guys and it will diminish the pain and hurt. Good Luck!


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What Guys Said 1

  • You need more time. Also, get used to the idea that love doesn't last forever...


What Girls Said 1

  • It'll take time. If you love him as you say you do one day you will be able to see him with another girl and not flinch... Truly being happy for him. It took me a while to be like this and I am still best friends one if my ex's though he was the only serious bf I had besides my current one.

    Just realize you two aren't best for each other ATM. But when he matures more maybe you can give it another shot. If it's meant to happen you'll one day find each other. Perhaps you can let him know you wish things could have worked out but you are just at completely different milestones in life. As you age, the age gap will lessen.

    I really wish you luck.

    Hobbies, friends, school, and work. Just take it day by day. Eat healthy too. And if you ever feel very depressed, seeing a counselor is not a bad idea. After my first hard break up at 15 I was put on Prozac for a year to help me cope. But do not turn to drugs or alcohol... I know how easy it is to do that...


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