We were together for about a year before she dumped me, about 4 months ago now. She fell out of love because I was kind of a terrible boyfriend. We were each others first in many ways including boyfriend/girlfriend, and I highly doubt we will date again before we graduate. I still love her, and she has said numerous times that she really wants to be friends.
In those four months we have tried to be friends but things have gotten complicated over that time. I've gotten jealous and such so we have had a few no contact phases.
A few nights ago we were both at a friends birthday party and were really drunk, and talked for the first time in about 3 weeks or so. We were holding each other and kind of just opened up. She says she has been sorry for being so cold to me, and for being a "terrible friend", because she has been doing that to others as well and not just myself. She also said she's just been depressed and that she feels like there is no life after high school. She doesn't really know what to do with herself.
Later we were alone and started crying to each other. We've both been depressed. But I didn't know how hurt she has been until now. She says she has been crying herself to sleep every night and she thinks she isn't good enough for anyone. I've been feeling that way too, and I've been hating myself since we broke up, it's been hard living with my mistakes. We were each others rocks, and this is pretty much the first time we have been separated in our lives.
Should I continue to try being friends? I want her back. I drunkenly asked her if she ever saw us being together again & she said she thinks we are just meant to be friends. That shot me down, but still want to help her, though it is probably difficult for two broken people to fix each other.