I just recently found out that my fiance cheated on me. I've been feeling all sorts of emotions. I'm devastated, enraged, incredibly upset, i feel used, manipulated, disgusted... I could go on and on. He says it was just one time, but I don't believe that for a second. It's just that one time I found out, but I feel like there has to be more.
Especially since I caught him flirting with the girl he cheated on me with several times, months after the cheating occurred. I have also caught him flirting with other girls before, and have caught him in a ton of lies. He says he's so guilty and ashamed for what he did, but I don't think his behavior was that of a guilty conscience. We live together, and are engaged, but there are no children involved. So, do you believe that once a cheater, always a cheater? Or do you think that everyone deserves a second chance?
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There are two types of cheaters:
- a person who succombs to temptation as a one-time thing, feels horribly guilty and wrong about it and confesses on their own, and understands the hurt he put his partner through.
- selfish people who do what they want and are only "sorry" when they get caught. These people don't change; they continue to do what they want.
Your fiancé seems pretty clearly in the latter group, and that being the case, you would be foolish to even stay in the relationship with him, much less marry him.1