Do you think it is superficial to break up with a really great person because of something physical about them, like their weight?

A male friend of mine has been dating a great girl for 2 months - he says she's pretty, fun, and just all around cool to be with. He is having an issue because she is very bottom heavy (very large butt and legs). He feels badly but he says he can see, over time, it will start to really turn him off and he will lose sexual interest in her. Is he being superficial or do you think this is a legitimate reason?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Attraction issues are legitimate...especially when it comes to extremes (you said 'very large') or hard preferences (most people have one or two traits that they just aren't attracted to for some reason, while the rest are more of preferences of less or more degrees).

    If he's attracted to her now, though...it's hard to guess if you will lose attraction to someone down the road or not. A size 0 girl could easily gain a bunch of weight, too.

    I think females, for the most part, know that men's visual desires mostly trump personality. And in all honesty, while a man's looks don't make or break relationships for us to quite the same level, they do effect them. So trying to stay as fit and well groomed as you can opens more doors in the dating world.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Well I think attraction needs to be there for the relationship to be successful. So if he thinks he might not find her attractive after some period of time, then I'd say he has reasonable grounds for breaking up with her. But I just wonder, how can he think she is pretty if he doesn't like the fact that she bottom heavy?

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    • He finds her face very attractive (she is very pretty, I've seen her), but unfortunately her bottom half is really unusually large. I feel bad for her. This is why he is having a problem with this...

  • If he isn't physically attracted enough...the relationship is doomed.

    I have to applaud him because he is going to waste her time anymore.

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  • Best to respect that physical attributes play a major role in desire, but it is the only quality for me which can be overlooked if all the others, pardon the pun, outweigh it. I could think a person is supremely attractive and then she starts talking and I am like no thank you Miss Nutbar! Is that superficial? Her mind wouldn't be attractive to me, so I just can't go there. Unless I didn't care and just wanted to use a body which then that seems superficial and not very satisfying. It is best to be true to what you prefer but be open to see if you might like somebody for other reasons you never knew existed. He seemed to be open to trying and cannot square it so I think he is right to end it in a kind way and keep looking for someone who he doesn't have to pretend with. She seem like she has a enough qualities to attract the right one for her as well.

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  • I think its a bit of both

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  • it's becoming a big problem.

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  • It could be either. If he isn't able to remain attracted then that is a serious issue. Most people want the whole package, and don't want to settle in looks.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Tell him to send her my way :D

    No but seriously...why would he start dating her if he wasn't entirely attracted to her? I'm sure she didn't suddenly gain a huge ass and big legs in 2 months. He should break up with her before her feelings grow stronger and he ends up breaking her heart over something like her body type.

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