He cheated on me? what should i do?

My boyfriend cheated on me, i became to know it from a girl with who he cheated.. but he said it's truth.
He was cheating on me for 6 months he also told her personal things about me.. she wrote me everything just because she was angry because at the end he chosed me.

I want to stay with him, we are together for 4 years and i love him, i don't have anyone other than him.. we will marry in the future,

But i am worried why he did it? i don't want him to do it again, what should i do? should i become more pretty, sexy, sweet?

I am so confused now.

Updates:
I won't break up because we love each other, he loves me! It was also my guilt, i wasn't very nice to him lately, i behaved kinda cold - it doesn't mean she had right to sleep with him! But now i realised how important it was,, i want to change.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Obviously he was getting something from her he was not getting from you. Was it more sex? Hotter sex? Something emotionally?

    Whatever it is - if you didn't have 100% of what he wanted - then what will stop him from filling the gap with someone else in the future.

    This is different then 'I was away and lonely and she was hot and I slipped' - a pattern of 6 months shows a very confused person that was not satisfied by just you. If that is the case - not sure you want to be married to that. You are too young anyways to worry about locking something in for good.

    Acknowledge and move on.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

Most Helpful Girl

  • He didn't slip once, or twice, he cheated on you with the same woman for 6 months. . . that was a hardcore calculated decision. He had plenty of opportunities in that length of time to experience enough guilt to quit his wrong doing, yet he didn't.

    You only know because SHE told you. So, he picked you this time. . what about the next girl he cheats and starts a relationship with behind your back? What if he likes her better than you and when he is asked to choose, he chooses her?

    I'm sorry this happened to you but the chances of it happening again are very likely, should you choose to stay with him.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • He won't do it again i am sure, he ended it with her! and she still keept messaging him telling him she loves him! She is a bitch

    • Show All
    • He understood his mistake and he stopped meeting her! Everyone does mistakes

    • I agree, everyone makes mistakes. Cheating once, is a mistake. When you realize you made a mistake, you usually change your actions so you don't repeat the same mistake. He cheated for 6 months, this is not a 'mistake'. This is a concious decision to deceive you, knowing that it would hurt you if you found out. I don't think you can believe anything that comes out of his mouth at this point. His actions are not those of a good man in love, they are those of a deceptive person with crappy morals.

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What Guys Said 6

  • "we are together for 4 years"
    "was cheating on me for 6 months"
    "we will marry in the future"

    Sounds bad. "but he said it's truth" What's his explanation?
    Heart or just lust or not controlling himself after two drinks?
    But some people can live with it. Everyone reacts differently to philandering. I know I could close my eyes, I know my wife could not.
    Expect more of the same. Do NOT hope he'll change before he's 80.

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    • It seems you want to be his second wife.
      The other women will do what they can too oust you. And they'll succeed.

  • Sorry, but you're making excuses for him and blaming yourself for his infidelity? This is going to happen again, either with this woman or someone else. I can all but guarantee it.

    If it were me, I woulda dumped his ass the second I found out...

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  • You need to break up with him. He will do it again.

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  • I would say give him one more chance.

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  • Your an idiot if you stay.. You mean while you were faithful while your "bf" blew the brains out of some girl for 6 months doesn't make you want to leave him? You wanna know what he'll be thinking in a few months? "I won't get caught this time, and even if i do, she won't dump me.."

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    • EXACTLY! How can you stay with him? She truly loves him but he will leave her skin and bones just taking from her and other women.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I hope you will be happy with your choice, but your relationship has been broken somehow. And you got hurt. Can you forget it?
    Can you move on easily?
    Think about it. Marriage is huge deal and serious issue. Can you imagine a life with someone who did this to you?
    Anyway, it is your decision.
    Good luck.

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    • Yes, i was more worried that he will leave me.. i feel more relief than being hurt, i cna't lose him i have only him

    • You have yourself and that is more important than him, trust me

    • You can live with him cheating on you again. Sadly I think you would let him cheat if it meant keeping him =|

  • He slept with one woman for six months. It could've been longer. You should be glad she told you, otherwise you'd of never known the truth. He didn't make a mistake, fucking one woman for that length of time isn't a mistake it's a decision. He told her personal things which mean it wasn;t just sex for him. I can promise you he has feelings for her. Cause he didn't have one night stands on the side with women he had no connection with. He chose you because of history, he chose you cause he invested that time in you, and who wants to feel like they wasted 4 years. It;s probably one of your reasons to stay.

    Gosh he's known you for 4 years, he knows so much about you, different ways you look. You shouldn't have to change. He loves you but he isn't in love with you anymore. Cause if he was in love with you he would NEVER cheat for 6 months and more on you with ONE woman who he has/had a connection with.

    She loves him and he has feelings for her that's why it went on so long. He probably led her on. She probably didn't know he was with you so she got angry and told you to get back at him for lying to her.

    Why do you wanna be with him so bad? He's obviously very confused and you definitely aren't making him happpy anymore.

    I can promise you he will cheat again. You lack self respect cause you are taking back a man who would've never told you on his own and probably continue to fuck that girl or others. He had enough time with doing her to realize what he was doing was wrong, to think about how it would affect you and your relationship with him but obviously what she has and was giving him was more important so he continued fucking her.

    I am so sorry this happened to you. But I think you should break up cause you don;t wanna waste even more years on someone who can't stay faithful.

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    • He basically can use this against you. If you bring cheating up again. He will lie and say " baby I learnt my lesson last time I promised you I would never cheat again. Last time was a 'mistake'. You gotta trust ne please.". He could now learn better how to hide it from you. He cheated for six months plus which contains a lot of timew they had sex, he felt no guilt so it was a decision not mistake. He probably willl think he can do it again. You put him in a position where he did the choosing of women, he knows he can/could get away with it. There is a saying " The monkey (him) knows which tree (female) to climb on". If he cheats again you will feel, look and be a fool. He obviously doesn't respect you or the relationship or your feelings. If you marry him you are gonnna damage yourself as he keeps cheating or even leave you for another woman.

    • wow thanks for BA. I hope you are ok *hug* I am so sorry <3

  • Dump him! When a guy is in a relationship with a girl he doesn't cheat ok? That's actually a common reason for people to break up. Are you nuts? I know I invested a lot of time into my ex and lost a lot of friends but the true ones came back when he cheated on me. The only way you don't have anyone else is if you are foreign/illegal and you moved countries for this relationship and he's keeping you in the closet. Just leave him. There is more out there!

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  • Lord, you're making this about you and be more sweet etc., it's not entirely about YOU. Men this age cannot mostly be faithful and will take sex off mostly anything that moves. It's more that than anything else... you are both too young for a committed relationship. If you want that, try dating an older guy who wants the same guy - it's rare to find a guy that age that CAN stay faithful.

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  • He will cheat again. Don't be so naïve. He doesn't love you and there was no accident face it. You marry a cheat you will regret it

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