How to break up with a clingy suicidal person?

i met this guy online and we were going to meet up this summer, but he started getting too attached. saying he wants me around all the time and that im his girlfriend even though we haven't met yet. i just wanted a casual thing so it freaked me out...i started ignoring him and did so for two weeks.

i thought i was in the clear and he got the hint, but tonight he started posting songs on his Facebook saying they were about me. then he messaged me to say he missed me and he hadn't heard from me in months (um its been 13 days), and then THAT HE WAS KILLING HIMSELF

so i flipped, i called him, and talked him down and he started feeling better...then he started saying he thinks about me a lot and calling me sweety. its freaking me out, but now im scared if i tell him i dont want to visit he'll try to kill himself or go crazy. like im scared. what do i do? i dont want to meet him anymore.
why would he do this? is there something psychologically wrong with him


Most Helpful Guy

  • You're easily manipulated. Just be blunt; even if the kid offs himself it has nothing to do with you and realistically he'd do it with or without your existence.

    • i am...i kinda have some emotional problems that make it hard for me to see when im being manipulated or exploited and i dont speak up for myself. i didn't realize i was being manipulated until tonight. ill try being blunt. he's 31 and clearly immature and not under control, im a little frightened. in my past i dealt with people who were volatile like this and they got violent. im just scared of how to handle it but its probably my fear of being blunt that repeatedly has me in these situations...

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    • ok ok, i appreciate the candor. i dont want to do it now but i will tomorrow. i just want to ignore him but that probably isn't actually constructive lol

    • well you figured it out all by yourself, didn't need me to tell ya at all; you already knew what you had to do and im happy youve decided to do it

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What Guys Said 4

  • ok, if you have a desperate friend who is clingy herself, hook him up with her, give them alone time, make sure he's attracted to her, obviously he won't cheat on you however if you find some excuse to break up with him with no-one being blamed, tell your friend he's sweet on to move in, and BAM!

    he won't kill himself, he'll get clingy with your clingy friend, by the time the shock of you leaving him has hit, he'll already be gravitating strongly towards your other friend.

  • He's doing whatever it takes to hear from you. I honestly would just block his number.

    First off, he won't kill himself. He's doing it to hear from you.

    Secondly, even if he does kill himself, not your fault, there's probably 1,000,000 other issues mentally with him.

    You basically got stuck messaging one of the many online crazies. You now know why he is online looking for dates.

  • Maybe let him off nicely. Never been in a situation like yours before so i wouldn't know what to do..

    • Like have an "honest" talk with him and tell him how you feel? A lot harder said then done though :\

  • tactfully..slowly ween away, dont meet, dont text. Notify the authorities.


What Girls Said 5

  • shouldn't have called him, now he knows how to make you talk to him again. if he killed himself over an online relationship that didn't last long then he is mental and would do it anyway over something silly. he won't really do it because as unfortunatemale says; he's survived 31 years so far and with that type of personality he would have offed himself at anything remotely upsetting if he was truly like that, its just attention seeking and manipulation.

    if you dont like confrontation just block him from every outlet; Facebook, email, text, whatsapp, dating profile etc so he cannot contact you at all and he can whine or whatever he wants to do without guilting you into staying

    • we have a lot of mutual friends irl so i dont know if i can block him but i would rather just do that! i think i have to confront him. its so embarrassing, I've never confronted someone before so im really nervous. has to be done though...

    • ahh that would make it so much harder to lever him out of your life :s i guess as a last resort you could try and set him up on a date with another girl and hope he takes to her instead lol
      if you confront him just be dignified and polite about it so if things escalate he is the one who looks like an idiot and a mess and your mutual friends realise its him thats being unreasonable not you

  • It's a manipulation tactic and falls under the category of relationship abuse. Break up with him immediately.

    • And don't talk to him ever again. Block him on every social medium.

    • this is that you say it. i had an ex stalk me and he started off like this. this guy drinks too which i think messes with his behavior...I've got bad dating radar.

    • You should really be able to spot the signs by now and break it off once the clinginess starts.

  • This is going to sound horrible but I am speaking from experience.

    More likely than not, he is not going to kill himself. People who use this control tactic are simple too narcissistic to commit suicide most of the time. But if you're very worried about it, constant his family or friends and give a heads up. Then just end it and don't look back. You're only further enabling and coddling the behavior right now :(

    Good luck!

  • Here's the thing- he kills himself? Not your problem. He's MANIPULATING you. He's probably ELATED that this plan worked!
    He wants to be suicidal and kill himself then LET HIM. He won't but even if he did, -Not. Your. Problem.-

    • Also, you break up with him by removing and blocking him in every way possible. If he continues to harass you call the police. You MUST do it this way.

  • Talk to him and tell him that ur parents are forcing you to marry a 60 years old man and that u want rich men,


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